Providence
by MissBukowski
Summary: In an alternate universe, Mark goes to the Academy while he and Sam's father is on a Black Ops mission. Lt. Jack O'Neill is appointed to watch over her, and in tame a friendship turns to something more. Sam's life from age 16 to joining the SCG.
1. Alone

Pairing: Sam/Jack

Rating: PG-13

Summary: The story chronicles a possible outcome of Sam's life, from age 16 to joining the SGC. When Sam's father and brother leave, a young Jack O'Neill is hired to look after her. First a friendship then a romance blooms.

Spoilers: I'll go into the '94 movie a bit, maybe even COTG. I might keep it going, rewriting certain episodes/scenes to incorporate the Sam/Jack relationship. I'll warn before any spoiler.

Season/Sequel: Pre-show, alternate universe of Sam's late teen years +

Archive: Anywhere

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters; I'm just borrowing them. I do, however, own this particular version of their lives, so don't steal. I promise I'll give Sam and Jack back after I've played with them for a while

Author's Notes: Every little choice we make decides how the rest of our lives pan out. In this story, one simple choice is made that brings Sam and Jack together, and they don't have to worry about military regulations preventing a relationship. I just wanted to see a world in which they come together at a convenient time, and I love fics about the characters' early lives, so this is the result of my obsession. I started this a long time ago, abandoned it, rewrote it, abandoned it, rewrote it, abandoned it, and I'm finally continuing it. Hopefully after all that it won't have many discrepancies.

Feedback: I love it! Anyone who wants to can email me with praise, flames, or whatever. Okay, please no flames. You'll make me cry.

Dedication: To all of those whose undying desire to see Sam and Jack get together drive them crazy while watching the show. If only the official writers of the show were as good as some of you fanfic writers out there are. To the constellation Orion, my unusual source of inspiration.

* * *

Sam sat on her front porch as the sun set low right behind where the American flag that was lit from all around, the luminous bulbs switching on as the up-coming darkness crept ever closer. She sighed as the few minutes of true beauty she was able to glimpse in this coldly impersonal place slipped beyond the horizon, and street lights popped on, one after another. Usually the dark made things seem more intimate, she thought, but here it just added to the starkness of the clone houses up and down the street.

She hated living here. Her house looked like everyone else's, no one seemed to add color and individuality to the place, and worst of all were the blasting horns every morning. No, this wasn't boot camp, it was life on a military base and everyone had to not only live the same way and sleep in identical homes, but they also had to all wake up at the same time. Even weekends.

Of course, her view of this life was biased by a vehement dislike of the military: it wasn't really all that bad. Nevertheless, for now, she simply hated it. 'It's not as if I have a choice,' she thought as she returned to the kitchen where her father tried unsuccessfully at cooking. She walked past him and up the stairs to her room, yelling behind her that she wasn't hungry.

'This is all there is', she thought as she paused by the doorway of her brother's room. He seemed to hate it even more than her. He blamed the military for their mother's death, and perhaps that was the root of Sam's own dislike of it. However, he was rebellious at heart, and he hated getting up everyday, calling their father 'Sir', and going off to school where he was ridiculed mercilessly for being a military kid on top of everything.

He sat on the edge of his bed now, headphones on his ears blasting rock music loud enough for Sam to understand. He didn't talk much anymore, only when Sir was gone.

She sighed again as she closed the door to her own room. With Mark withdrawn to himself and Sir being Sir, she had no one to talk to. It was times like these that she really ached inside for her mother. She always thought a young woman should have a mother to talk to, or at least someone who could maybe be a surrogate mother and give her advice when it was needed and be her friend.

She had no woman friends, and after seeing the few female military personnel she had met, she was sure she didn't want to even imagine their hard, stoic faces covered in green goo while they painted their toenails and laughed and cried as they watched all the best chick flicks.

The last thought she had as her eyes closed and the sweet unconsciousness of sleep took her was of her one true desire in life – a friend who could make her laugh without trying, and who, when they looked into her eyes, would see her as she was, and accept, even love her. Little did she know, a man on the far side of the base was thinking the very same thing.

Promptly at 7:00 in the morning, Sam rose with the sound of the morning alarm. Military life was always very punctual, she learned, and those who ran this base saw it fit that instead of staying up all night and sleeping all day, one should rise early and go to sleep early to produce a top amount of productivity. Right. Because there's just so much productivity to be made here, Sam thought as she made her way to the bathroom.

She had no problems with getting into the bathroom first in the mornings anymore. Dad's room and bathroom were downstairs, and Mark had learned to sleep with his music playing so loud he never heard the morning call.

After brushing her teeth and pulling her hair back into a braid so she didn't look like Frankenstein's bride, she made her way downstairs in her favorite faded blue nightgown. Her father said it wasn't appropriate for a 16-year-old girl, as it revealed too much for his taste, but she'd never give it up for anything. It had been her mother's. She wore it now in remembrance, a reminder as she drifted off to sleep at night that she wasn't alone, and though her mother wasn't there physically, she would always live on. Just as long as Sam kept the memory alive.

After pouring a bowl of cereal, she noticed the note stuck to the refrigerator door. It's clinical, precise handwriting couldn't belong to any other than one General Jacob Carter, or Sir.

"Sam, Mark," the note read, "I'll be leaving at 0600 hours this morning and might not return for months. Mark, don't forget you leave for the Academy soon; until then, take care of your sister. Sam, I've sent for a Lieutenant to watch over you while Mark and I are away. I'll be home as soon as I can. Stay out of trouble."

Stay out of trouble was probably the closest to I love you that they would ever hear from Sir. She threw the note away irritably and sat down hard in the stool by the breakfast bar.

"I can't believe he didn't say goodbye in person!" she said, tears already brimming her eyes.

"You know him. Goodbyes aren't his best thing. Now, being a cold-hearted bastard, he's good at that. Just not goodbyes," Mark said from the doorway. Sam jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to see him standing there, anger apparent in the lines of his face and set of his jaw. "He could have at least said goodbye to you, instead of surprising you like this."

She turned around in the stool again and played with food that suddenly didn't seem very appetizing. "I didn't know you were going to the Academy."

He sighed and grabbed a banana, then leaned on the counter in front of her. Though he really did act resentful to everyone most of the time, when it was just the two of them together he was the best big brother anyone could ask for. "I didn't want to go. But you know, there are many job opportunities for people who graduate from the Academy. Being in the military isn't my only option. I didn't know that I'd go while dad was gone though. I had no idea."

She smiled at his worry. Sir may not have been the attentive father she wanted, but she had a brother who would definitely die for her in a second. "It's fine Mark. Besides, didn't you hear? Sir got some fancy to do military person to watch over me while you're gone!"

Mark laughed as he playfully punched Sam's arm. "The Academy is only a few hours away from here. You ever need me, just call."

"Yeah," she laughed, "Mighty Mouse is on the way!"

They finished breakfast laughing and talking, and the day turned out to be a good one. 'Not absolutely everything is terrible and drearily boring in this place', Sam thought to herself.

Later that day, Mark went off to spend some time with his friends and Sam stayed home. The rest of the week was much the same. Mark spent a lot of time with his few buddies who would be going off to college, although none of whom would be going to the Academy. Evenings they'd watch a movie and order a pizza, or Sam would laugh at Marks attempts at cooking (the men of the Carter family weren't exactly known for their culinary skills) before interceding and making dinner herself.

In all, it was a peaceful week, that is, until Monday morning came and Mark finished up his final preparations for leaving to the Academy. She helped him carry his luggage down to the front hall so he could move them out to the cab easily when it came, and was just joking with him that he packed more than she would've when the phone rang.

"Hello?" Sam said, a laugh in her voice as Mark tripped over the suitcase she dropped by the phone.

"Sam, what in the world is going on over there?" Jacob said as a crash and giggle sounded through the phone. "Where is your brother?"

"Mark's right here," she said, calming down a bit, "do you want to talk to him?"

Hearing this, Mark shook his head in an exaggerated manner that spoke clearly to Sam, 'no freaking way'.

"It's fine Sam, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't still sleeping." Sam rolled her eyes at that. Sir never did trust them much. "That lieutenant will be by later today, he's a good boy. General Carrin recommended him. I have to go now Sam. I'll be home in a few months yet. Tell Mark I said good luck at the Academy."

Without giving her a chance to respond, he hung up the phone. A good luck from Jacob Carter was like a hug from any regular father. Because of the suddenness of his absence and the lack of communication, Sam supposed he was on a very important life or death mission, and he actually wouldn't be back for months to come. She sighed and placed the phone back in it's holder.

After they had all his bags downstairs, they sat down in the living room for one last brother to sister talk for what could be quite a while.

"I'm sorry for maybe not being the best big brother to you these past two years, Sam. You know I love you, right?" he said, with an almost…was it tenseness in his voice?

"Mark," Sam said, slow tears filling her eyes, "you've been the best big brother anyone could ask for."

Mark blinked when his eyes became embarrassingly moist and said, "Yeah but, I know that keeping hold of hate towards dad and the military, and being so ridiculously angry towards everyone couldn't have been a good influence on you."

Mark jumped in surprise as he was slammed by a hug from his little sister. A real hug, full of all the love they acknowledged in each other the past few years, but never really, openly expressed. A stubborn, errant tear fell as the barricade he'd built up over the past two years fell down.

Sam's own tears now flowed freely as she answered, "No, I understand. It wasn't fair, and you were grieving. Don't apologize for that. I love you, big brother."

"I love you too, kid."


	2. The Man in the Mustang

A/N: Chapter two! Please R&R.

Disclaimer: Still don't own Stargate SG-1. So sad...

* * *

The time for Mark's departure came all too soon, and as Sam watched the cab drive away she felt more alone than she had since she sat amidst countless family and friends at her mother's funeral. She hadn't really been alone then, but she felt so isolated from the world. That was how she felt again.

As she turned to enter the big empty house, around the corner came a black '69 Mustang with tan interior and, if she did say so, an amazingly good looking man in the driver's seat. The car stopped in front of her house and he got out and came toward her, the sun glinting off his shiny brown-blonde hair and dangerous brown eyes. Though he was in Dress Blues, a look Sam previously found distasteful, he was without a doubt the cutest guy she had ever seen.

He walked over to her with a grace that suggested he was related to Basset the cat goddess. She was utterly speechless as he held out his hand to her and introduced himself as the lieutenant Sir had sent to watch out for her.

"My name's Jack. O'Neill, but formalities forgotten, it's just Jack." He smiled in an almost childlike manner, a cheeky, ear-to-ear grin that should've belonged to the Big Bad Wolf, and though she thought something like that should've made him look ridiculous, it did anything but.

Realizing his hand still hung between them, she snapped herself out of her reverie and took his hand. He has the grip of an Olympian, Sam thought before once again pushing away the thought. A guy like this was sure to have enough girls for a lifetime, what would he possibly want with her??

"I'm Sam," she finally managed to say. "My dad told me you were coming. Do you want to, um, come inside?"

When he accepted, her face flushed and she turned quickly so he wouldn't notice the blood rising to her cheeks. She led him in the front door, and shut it behind him, realizing she'd never been home alone with a boy before. Not a boy, she thought, he is most definitely one heck of a man.

"Coffee?" she asked trying to drown out that persistent devil sitting on her shoulder. "Or soda?"

He looked around the house and shrugged. "Whatever you have is fine with me."

As he sat down on the living room couch, comfortable in his own security and bravado yet unsure and apprehensive for some reason, she went into the kitchen and fetched two cold sodas. Carrying them out into the living room, she almost stopped cold as Jack stood from the couch and examined a picture of herself and her mother taken three years ago.

It wasn't really the most flattering of pictures, she was in the ugliest pink dress she'd ever seen, but her mother was dressed the same and they sat on white wicker chairs caught up in laughter. Sam's father had snapped the picture at a family friend's wedding.

Hearing her enter the room, Jack turned quickly and set the picture back on the shelf as if he was pretending like he never saw it. It was one of the few pictures of her mother Jacob allowed in the house, another one was with both Sam and Mark at the beach, and the other was of just the two of them at their wedding. She loved those pictures.

She had more of her mother's stuff in her room, like the nightgown, another picture, and all her memorabilia. There were portraits that her mother painted scattered throughout the house, but most were in the guest bedroom where they would be out of sight and out of mind. But these were the most special, because they were her father's favorites also.

She smiled reassuringly and glanced at the picture. "It's my mom and me."

He relaxed instantly as he sat next to her and took the soda. He was friends with a man named Colonel George Hammond, who was a long time friend of the newly promoted Brigadier General Carter. As soon as Hammond learned Jack would have the job of taking care of the General's daughter, he filled him in on everything he'd need and gave him a number where he could reach him for anything. "I'm a good friend of the Carters, son, just give me a call if you need to," he'd said.

George had told him about Sam and about her mother's death two years hence. About her brother, Mark who was attending the Academy. He'd been warned of Jake's temper, of course…but nothing George told him prepared him to be met by the most gorgeous girl…woman that he'd ever seen. He watched her surreptitiously as sipped the soda.

Her hair was long and flaxen, the blonde locks catching the light and reflecting it. Her beautiful sapphire eyes were wide and intelligent. She had lips that smiled easily and were naturally dark against her pale, freckled skin.

You're screwed Jack, he thought to himself as he smiled and sipped the root beer. She's only 16, AND a General's daughter!

"So, I'm supposed to, uh, watch over you I guess while your father's gone," he said, and paused as he saw a flush flash over her features. He liked that…no…no, he didn't, because she was only 16, and a general's daughter. "But, whatever you would like to do is fine with me."

Sam was confused. Not only was this Jack O'Neill the hottest guy she'd ever seen, but he was the most unmilitary military man she'd ever met. He had none of the coldness, the stiff pride of all the other people she'd met through her father. He had confidence, sure, he had a ton of it. But he was just so laid back. What was she supposed to do with virtually only his company for the next few months?

She cleared her throat and said, "Well, I'm not sure. We just moved to this base a little over a month ago, and I really haven't seen much of it."

It was lame, but she couldn't think of anything else to say. She paused to take a long drink from her soda and when she set it down on the coffee table, she and Jack said in tandem, "But if you seen a little, you've seen it all."

They broke down into laughter as the ice was invariably broken. "So," Jack said, "I guess we could go around and see the whole base if you're interested. But you were, or rather, we were right, there's not too much to see if you seen a bit of it. These places are just so plain it's an eyesore if you have no choice but to look everyday. But…there is a wonderful lake about forty minutes from here. There's a great little diner/bait shop by the shore and great fishing. Lots of acreage so there's plenty enough places with perfect isolation."

As soon as the words left his mouth, Jack knew that what he had said may not have been the best thing. Sam blushed and stood up, walked over to the radio and turned on her favorite rock station, all in an attempt to pretend like she hadn't taken Jack's words the wrong way.

Jack, almost tempted to literally slap himself, said, "Well I mean you know, you can go there and it feels like the world doesn't exist. There's none of the complications from everyone else. It's just you, the fishing rod, and the calm lake. The fish too of course, which you can even cook there and eat."

Relieved and feeling a bit silly , Sam said, "That sounds amazing. I've never really been fishing before."

"Never?" Jack said, shocked.

"Nope," she said. "Dad never had time to take me, and Mom probably never picked up a fishing pole in her life."

"Well then, I would be happy to take you any time you want. I only have one pole, but I could buy you one at the bait shop," Jack said, relieved the conversation was taking on a much more relaxed tone.

It seemed like the afternoon passed in a second. Jack took Sam around the base, showing her all the incredibly boring sites, yet she had fun. She found that Jack had a great sense of humor, and with his quick sarcastic wit, he made the unappealing tour into a riot of laughter. By the time they got back to the house when the sun was beginning to set, they were both famished and in need of something to eat.

As great as that day had been, as soon as nightfall truly came, and they were finished with dinner, an awkward silence fell upon the room as they considered their options. Jack wasn't sure if he should go home for the night and return in the morning, and Sam, having only been informed of the situation a week before, had no idea what to do.

While he was clearing away the table and putting the dishes in the sink, Jack said, "Well, I don't know what you'd feel most comfortable with, but I don't really know if it'd be best for me to go home tonight." He sneaked a peak at Sam as she sat on the counter and saw traces of a blush coming upon her features, but continued anyway. "See, it takes about 45 minutes to get to my place from here, I live just outside the base." At hearing this, Sam became more interested, her curiosity piqued. He didn't live on base.

"No, I get it," she said, "It'd take too long to get here in the morning and in case anything happened."

Welcome for the save of what he knew was going to become a babble of nervous ramblings, Jack sighed and answered, "Exactly."

As he finished drying the last dish and was putting it into the cabinet, he realized he hadn't prepared to stay at her house. He had no clothes, nothing he would need to make his stay there comfortable except for a gym bag in his trunk. He'd have to sleep in his dress blues, which were already bugging him after a long day, even though he'd discarded the shoes, jacket, and tie, and rolled up his sleeves.

He followed her into the living room where, as she reached to turn on the radio, he said, "Um…I think I have a little tiny problem…"

Sam turned toward him at his words, smiled, and said, "I think you have many."

They drove down the highway in Jack's car, with the windows rolled down and rock and roll playing on the radio, and Sam felt more comfortable than she had in a long time. She had no idea what it was about this man that made her feel so at ease, but she realized early on that he was pretty damned close if not exactly what she had been praying for. He was it, the answer to her endless prayers, the friend she'd dreamed of for so long a time…

"Hey, what're you thinking? I've been talking to you for almost ten minutes and I don't think you've heard a word I've said," Jack said as he turned to look at Sam who had failed to answer a question. He found her with her face turned slightly toward the window, her long blonde hair easily cascading down her shoulders and occasional streetlights brightening her profile. She looked like an angel…'Stop, dammit!' He thought to himself. 'She's too young for me to be thinking about her like this, and I only met her today…'

She was startled to hear his voice break through her thoughts, but she turned to him and smiled in spite of herself. "Sorry, just thinking that finally the sunset's not the only thing I have to look forward to anymore."

Jack blushed, much to his embarrassment, and said, "The sunset?"

"Yeah," Sam replied, "Me and my mom used to watch the sun set every night, so now I try to catch it as often as I can. It's a real beauty in this world of…"

"Uniformity?" Jack supplied.

By this time Sam was used to how similarly she and Jack thought, but the word caught her by surprise nonetheless as it was exactly the word she had been thinking of. "Exactly! That's it, uniformity. That's what I'm stuck in. Well, not so much anymore. So where is your place? It's been almost 45 minutes and we're way out of the base."

Jack laughed and said, "Well, it's not just outside of base, I say that mostly since it's normal for personnel to live in or right there by base, but I live a little bit more out there. We're almost there."

He turned onto a road flanked by tall trees and then drove a few minutes more before coming to a seemingly secluded cabin. It was decently sized, not too big but more than enough room for one person. It's log walls were overgrown with natural ivy and there was a small pond in the front that housed a variety of small animals.

Getting out of the car, Sam couldn't help but remark on how picturesque it all was. Jack replied, "Yeah, it's pretty great. Like living in a dream almost, it's a completely different world than the base: quiet, casual, so much more me."

On their way to the front door, Sam looked Jack over and said, "Then why did you get into it, if you're so different than the military norm?"

"Well," Jack said as he unlocked the door, "I worked a lot during high school to support my mom after my dad left, and after I graduated I didn't have that many options. I'm not exactly a brain, and I'm good at sports but I didn't want that to be my life. I got accepted to the Academy, and after I graduated I knew I'd have a sure shot at the military and a good life. A better life than I could've had anywhere else at least."

They entered the living room and already Sam could see that the house truly was just like Jack. An openly spaced living room led into a partially closed off dining room adjacent to a small, efficient kitchen. There was military memorabilia everywhere, along with pictures of Jack with people that must have been his family. The space was overtly casual with simple yet comfortable couches around a TV and yet there was something else there in the neatly arranged bookshelves and pictures of constellations that clearly personified that part of Jack she couldn't quite identify. Jack was comfortable in himself, a simple man living a casual yet fulfilling lifestyle, but beneath the surface was more, a complex individual who was innately profound. Sam had a feeling that this poignant side of Jack was rarely if ever seen by anyone but himself.

Jack watched Sam as she surveyed the room, and by the look on her face he could tell she wasn't just inspecting the décor, but sizing him up as an individual. He was nervous for the first time in that sort of situation. For some reason, even though he barely new this girl who was just sixteen, her opinion of him meant a lot, more than it should seeing as he had only met her that very day. He was just about to panic when suddenly she smiled and turned to him.

"This place is you, I can see why you like it."

He relaxed and smiled widely. "Yeah, it's not much, but I feel at home here. Um, you're sure this isn't a problem? I mean, two seconds flat and I can have a bag packed. We can still drive back to your place, I think it'd be much more proper."

Sam smiled, bit down a laugh, and said, "Proper? Meaning my father or any other powerful military man wouldn't have you hanged if word got around?"

"Yeah," Jack said as he looked down, "I've got no problem with it, but if word gets round to your father, then I'm dead. Literally. Plus, you must feel awkward…"

To make a point, Sam sat down on the couch and made herself as comfortable as possible. "Actually," she said, "I feel just fine here, I like your place and the view much better. Besides, I packed enough. I'll be fine."


	3. A Bear in the Sky

A/N: Dedicated to my reviewers. It's so encouraging to read good reviews!! Oh, and to my dad. You've been bugging me forever to let you read this, so here you go.

Disclaimer: I only own Sam and Jack in my imagination...Billy Idol too...

* * *

Soon after that, Sam went to bed. She slept in the guest bedroom, which was immediately adjacent to Jack's room. That was where she slept for the next week. When Friday came around, she had become as used to Jack as she was with her brother. They laughed about everything, and fished at the nearby lake almost every day. By day three, Sam had finally convinced Jack to calm down, because she was having fun with him, and since he was simply doing his job, no harm could possibly come. He seemed satisfied at that, because he was just at ease with her as she was with him.

It was crazy to think it, but Jack had found in this fair-haired beauty a friend better than any he'd ever known. She liked all the same sports as him, even hockey, and she found quickly that fishing was a much more enjoyable diversion than she had first thought. Her wacky, out-of-the-box sense of humor matched his perfectly, and with her wit and book smarts, added on to his sensibility and quick thinking, debating had become a favorite pastime.

Presently, they were both lounging on the couch listening to Billy Idol's new album. Sam was asking Jack about stars; she was always interested in the sky from a sort of "scientific point of view" as her father called it, but Jack seemed to be entranced simply by it's beauty. He told her that he'd been in love with the night sky ever since he was a child, and with the telescope he'd bought himself, and all the books he'd read, it officially became his favorite hobby.

They went out to his small backyard and laid down in the grass so they could see the stars better, and Jack pointed out all his favorite constellations to Sam. He showed her Scorpius the scorpion and Sagittarius the archer, Ursa Minor the little bear and Delphinus the dolphin.

Sam pointed upward. "Scorpius, I just can't see it. Ursa Minor too. Sagittarius and Delphinus, yeah I can see those, but how do you get a scorpion and bear out of the others?"

Jack smiled and moved to where he could lay right next to Sam, and he took her hand, pointed to the sky and said, "See that really bright star, right where I'm pointing?" Sam nodded. "That's Antares. From there the body of the scorpion goes out on both sides, see the three stars all kind of in a row? And then it goes down and up. You see?"

Sam, unable to speak, simply nodded and followed his hand. She could see it now, the body of the scorpion. Jack moved his hand a bit and pointed to a different part of the sky. Doing this he had to move just a bit closer to Sam. Hoping his voice wouldn't tremble as he thought it would, he said, "That bright star is called Polaris. From there the constellation moves in a line and makes a dipper, you see? Ursa Minor is more commonly known as the Little Dipper, but really, it's a bear. Personally, I just see the dipper, but someone who knows how long ago looked at the sky one summer night and saw a bear."

Jack mistakenly took Sam's silence as a bad sign, and moved away quickly. He'd almost let down his guard and made a mistake. Maybe he already had.

"Sam?" It almost came out as a croak, well that's how he sounded to himself.

She didn't turn to look at him, but kept her eyes on the sky when she answered, "Yes?"

He sat up and looked down at her. There was some look in her eyes that he hadn't seen before. There was sadness with a hint of wistfulness and…wonder. "Are you alright?"

She smiled and the sadness in her eyes was gone, replaced with serenity. Finally she turned to him and said, "I don't think I've ever seen the world this way, the way you do."

She sat up and faced him. He said, "What about the sunset? You said yourself you thought it was beautiful."

"Yeah," she said, "but mainly just because I feel close to my mom when I watch the sunset. Until now I didn't think I could look at things and see something beautiful in simplicity. You know me, I'm brainy. I always analyze things or look for a way to explain things instead of just look. I like it better with no reasons, no science, just nature. Just beauty, just…a bear in the sky."

The next day they were expected back at the base to check in with Colonel Hammond. When they arrived at Sam's house, after the Colonel, he didn't look at all happy. Even though Jack and Sam didn't know it, in his heart, George was truly happy at this odd pairing. Jack, being too different than other Lieutenants his age, and Sam, who was practically all alone in the world, somehow, for some reason worked perfectly together. The sense of loss and emptiness he'd always seen in Jack's eyes were now replaced by laughter and happiness. Sam, who never really recovered from the loss of her mother, seemed just as happy, if not more. He knew he could trust Jack, and Sam too, and that nothing would happen between them, but he did have to warn them that not everyone knew them as well as he.

Sam glanced at Jack when he said it, then did a double take in Hammond's direction. Jack's reaction was very much the same. Had it really only taken him a minute to realize their situation, and had he seen something in their eyes that even they themselves hadn't recognized?

Sam was the first to break the ensuing silence, and when her tentative words reached George, he had to smile. "No, Sam, I don't think it's wrong you're staying with Jack. I wish someone had told me though. Just remember that no one else should know, especially not your father. As for you Jack," he said turning to face the young man he very much admired, "no harm whatsoever must come to this girl. Take her fishing everyday, and check in every evening. I expect to be invited to dinner within the next week, so I can see what kind of conditions you're keeping her in. And I'll drop by unexpectedly, just so there's no last minute clean-ups to muddle my observations."

Jack was surprised that George had kept a straight face the entire time he was talking, and George was also. Sam was simply perplexed. Respecting the man even more than he had before, Jack saluted to the Colonel and sincerely promised that everything he was asked of would be met exactly. Colonel Hammond made a lousy excuse about a new sergeant he needed to find a place for, and left quickly. Not a second after his car left their sight, they burst out in a fit of laughter.

Sam sighed and wiped tears from her eyes as she said, "That George is such a teddy bear."

Jack followed Sam as she unlocked and opened the front door of her house and said, "Yeah. But I got the feeling he knew something he wasn't telling us."

"I felt that too," she replied, "but then again, there's a lot that people know and you don't."

Before Jack could retaliate, Sam was rushing up the stairs to her room. She had the bag she'd packed, and she needed some more clothes than the ones she was wearing. She picked out some of her favorite outfits, and a swimsuit for swimming in the lake. After everything was packed, she sat on her bed, where her mother's nightgown was laid out, ready to be worn. She hadn't taken it with her when she first went to Jack's; she hadn't thought it would be appropriate, and even though she was still wondering how he would feel especially since her father thought it was inappropriate to wear in front of even male family members, she found that she couldn't sleep well at Jack's house without it. She needed the comfort it offered, and she needed the instant connection to her mother that always took her away into a peaceful dream world.

She laid down on the bed next to the nightgown, just as if she were laying by her mother. With tears in her eyes she told her mom how much she missed her. She told her she really needed her now, that things were changing too fast, and it was too hard for her alone. After a minute or two of crying into a shoulder that wasn't there physically, but very much there spiritually, Sam sat up and carefully folded and packed the gown. She spent a few minutes to relax and try to hide the signs of tears before she decided to go downstairs.

Jack was in the hallway outside Sam's room when he heard the soft wrenching sound of tears. When she hadn't come right down he became worried, and when he heard her unmistakable crying, he was even more worried. He cracked open her door and saw her lying on her bed by a tattered old nightgown. As the tears flowed down her angelic face, he realized that he'd never seen anyone look so vulnerable before, and that his strong independent Sam needed much more than she let on about. He backed away slowly and headed downstairs, tears of his own threatening to fall.

When she finally came down, with virtually no evidence on her face to show she'd been crying, he was also reasonably calm. Calm on the outside at least, for in his heart he felt so much empathy for Sam. He wanted desperately to take away all the things that made her cry, but he knew that he'd never be able to.

She smiled, in better moods now that she'd vented the pain she kept inside, and told him it was about time for them to hit the road. Minutes later they were on the road and headed away from the military. Just as they left the base, Sam gave in to the fatigue weighing down her heavy eyelids, and closed her eyes. Jack knew the instant she fell asleep. Her breathing evened out, and her head rolled to the side to rest on the window. He turned down the radio until it was a low murmur and drove home.

* * *

A/N 2: There's a link on my profile to a picture of Sam's nightgown. It's not important that you look, I just like looking up pictures and stuff for stories. Just imagine the gown a faded light blue with less lace and slightly looser.


	4. Biscuits and Brothers

A/N: I'll update these early chapters daily if possible. I just need to read over and correct them. Keep your reviews coming, please. They make me oh-so-giddy!

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate, Sam and Jack would be married with kids by now, there wouldn't be Ori, and Pete would never have existed. But I don't. So read this, and I'll keep pretending I do :D

* * *

The next day, Sam woke up in the guest bedroom of Jack's cabin. She didn't remember getting there the night before, much less changing and going to bed. As she sat up she realized she hadn't changed before she went to bed. Her shoes were removed, but her clothes, even her jacket remained. She was laying on the slightly rumpled, though still made, bedclothes, and was covered with a light wool blanket that she hadn't seen before.

She checked the clock on the wall and, seeing it wasn't even 6 am, changed into the light blue nightgown she was glad she decided to pack. Though she got into the covers and tried her hardest to sleep, the tiredness in her mind was completely gone. She felt renewed and refreshed. She supposed it was Colonel Hammond's approval, though approval of what she wasn't quite sure, but she knew it was her mother. She'd felt her the night before, as if she really was there, not in her old nightgown, but in Sam. In her heart.

She slipped out of bed and decided to make breakfast. After the late drive the night before, she assumed Jack would sleep in, so she didn't even bother changing. She was too comfortable, and too used to wearing her nightgown around her house, so she didn't even think about it.

She was already completely familiar with Jack's kitchen, and within a minute she had the pots and food out. She decided to make buttermilk biscuits and sausage gravy; it was Jack's favorite meal. In no time, the biscuits were in the oven, and the sausage was cooking on the stove, and when it was done she began to prepare the gravy, just as her mother carefully described years and years before. She didn't realize it, but somewhere between the biscuits and sausage, she'd begun to hum her mother's favorite tune. It wasn't anything with a name, just musical sounds put together to make a melodic symphony greater than Chopin could. At least, that's what Sam always thought of it as her mother cooked breakfast, or cleaned the house. It was a tune imbedded in her mind and heart when she was too young to understand why she loved it. Now that she was older, she understood that her mother hummed her soul in that song. Sam would never quite be able to replicate it, too much of herself was in the rise and fall of pitch, but it would always be her mother's melody.

Jack woke up at the sounds of Sam cooking, and when he heard her start to hum a song that sounded so familiar that he thought he should know it, he got up out of bed and walked into the kitchen. She was single-mindedly moving about, checking on the biscuits he could smell before he opened his eyes, stirring the near finished gravy. She hadn't even noticed him walk in, and he stood at the doorway and observed her unobtrusively. Her hair was in the simple braid she always wore in the early morning, which left her face uncovered. She really had a truly lovely face; a high forehead and big bright blue eyes, a perfectly shaped nose dusted with light freckles from being out in the sun, and a masterfully carved mouth that couldn't seem to help but curve up into the most endearing cheeky smile he'd ever seen.

He tried looking somewhere else to distract his thoughts, and was just about to announce his presence when he noticed for the first time that she wasn't wearing her usual shorts and shirt pajamas. This morning she wore the nightgown he'd seen briefly the night before, the one she cried into. He could tell it was well worn, and he realized that it must've been her mothers. The blue nightgown was sleeveless, and sloped to an easy V-neck lined with lace. It seemed to conform perfectly to the shape of her body, but it was comfortable and loose enough to move easily.

Finally Sam looked up and saw Jack standing there. She was surprised at first, and then confused. He was looking at her, and there was something in his eyes she couldn't identify. Just as quickly as he must've snuck up on her, he snapped out of it and smiled his wide grin.

"Looks and smells very good," he said, pointing to the food.

"Well help yourself. I made it for you," she said smiling.

He wasted no time in grabbing a plate and stacking it high with his favorite morning, or anytime, meal. He took his first bite and had to close his eyes and smile. It tasted just like his mom's did; he always insisted she made it when he was a kid. He sat at the place Sam had set, and she sat next to him with her own, smaller plate.

After eating a while in companionable silence, Jack studied his fork and asked Sam when she learned to cook so well. She smiled and said, "My mom taught me when I was young. Dad and Mark are hopeless even at boiling water."

As soon as the words had been said, she dropped her fork and put a hand to her mouth.

"What is it?" Jack asked, startled. "What's wrong?"

Sam closed her eyes for a moment then looked at Jack. "Mark," she said after lowering her hand. "He was supposed to call early this morning to check on me. He'll call a few times if I don't answer, then he'll call Hammond. George would never lie to Mark. He'll tell him where I am and it won't be good. Mark'll be furious.

Jack thought about that for a second. For some reason he'd never thought about what Mark would think. "Well I bet Hammond will give Mark my number. He'll call here and we'll just tell him the truth. Problem solved," he said as he took another big bite.

Sam could almost laugh. Problem solved? Jack had obviously never met Mark. Or heard of the infamous Carter temper problem. Her father was known for losing his temper, though never when it would've caused trouble. Nonetheless, people knew not to cross him. What most people didn't know was that Mark was the same way. It was the only trait they shared, and it was one Sam would have rather lived without.

She hoped it would be as easy as Jack made it sound. After all, they weren't doing anything wrong, and she knew that. She was just staying in his guest room because it was more convenient for him, and safer for her. Of course, no one had once thought about the fact that even if he'd stayed at his house and she stayed alone at hers, she'd still be in the middle of an Air Force base where virtually no harm could come to her. That didn't matter, it hadn't even crossed their minds.

As innocent as the whole thing technically was, Sam, for some reason, felt that something more was going on. George had seen it. But it was an illusive whisper on the wind that she could hear but not understand. She didn't think that Jack knew what it was either. She wasn't even sure he felt anything at all. But just because she could feel it, and George knew something was going on, that didn't mean Mark would suspect something. There was still that chance though…

"He's gonna hate you," she said matter-of-factly. And it was no lie. He would. Even if he knew it was completely innocent and reasonable, he'd hate Jack and suspect the worse. Not because of his intrinsic temper, but because he was her big brother.

Jack looked up from his meal and studied her face. She no longer looked troubled, just slightly apprehensive. Someone who didn't know her probably wouldn't even notice it. Whoa, Jack. Someone who doesn't know her? You barely know her. No, he thought. He hadn't known her long, but he knew her. Like someone he should've known his whole life. And he knew that she knew him, better than anyone else he assumed.

He wondered what would really happen when Mark found out. Surely he'd call, and then probably drive the three-odd hours down from the academy and drop by unexpectedly. Mark probably would hate him. Given the circumstances, if things were reversed, and it was Jack who's little sister was staying in the house of a strange man he'd never met, he'd be pissed as hell.

He looked at Sam again. She had returned to the way she was before, as if nothing in the world could bother her. Perhaps she'd just reacted too quickly. It now seemed that Mark was no longer a problem, just a minor inconvenience, one that could be dealt with easily.

They finished eating then got dressed and headed out for a short hike. Sam loved seeing the woods around his house, it was as if she never tired of them. They stayed near the house, just in case Mark did call. It was about lunchtime when the phone finally rang. Sam looked at it disdainfully, and Jack decided to pick it up since she obviously wasn't going to.

He put the receiver to his ear and, as nonchalantly as he could, said, "O'Neill residence."

He thought he'd sounded nice, but obviously not. Well, it wasn't that he didn't sound nice, just that the person on the line wasn't going to accept anything, no matter how benign.

"What the hell is my sixteen year old sister doing staying with you?"

Not even a hello. Jack could live with that. He was very right in his assumption that Mark would in fact be pissed. More than right. Mark sounded as if he was holding the phone away from his head just so he could shout into it better and not shatter Jack's eardrum. He was grateful for that.

"You must be Mark, Sam's told me a lot about you. I'm glad to finally talk to you. I've been meaning to contact you sooner, but things just got a little crazy and I was distracted." Not the right words to say. Good job, Jack! Even before Mark's angry reply came through the phone, Jack knew he'd just gone and made things worse. Why couldn't he have said that they were busy taking care of elders and staying with his parents? Lies, but better sounding than "I was distracted". Had he heard those words from someone else's mouth, he immediately would've thought something bad. And that was exactly what crossed Mark's mind when he heard it.

"I'm on my way over there you know, and I will break you in half for touching her!"

Suddenly Jack didn't feel so amused. Not that he should've been before. Mark was taking it a bit too far, assuming things that were just…well they were wrong! "Listen buddy, I haven't touched her, and you thinking that is sick. I understand you care about her and don't want her hurt, but you're not the only one. I'd never do anything to hurt her, and just like you, I'd kill anyone who would. I'll tell Sam you're coming by."

He hung up the phone before he thought about what he was doing. He couldn't help it, but the accusation that he would do anything like that to Sam, take advantage of her at all, just made him want to break something. Badly.

He turned around sharply, subconsciously looking for something to smash, when he saw Sam just standing there with a shocked look on her face. He hadn't thought about her being right there when he'd said those things to Mark. Why had he said those things? It was all true but…Mark was justified in feeling the way he did. He was about to explain when a tear brimmed Sam's eye and fell slowly down her cheek. She still had that shocked, almost vulnerable look on her face. He thought he'd hurt her and he wanted nothing more than to take back the last few minutes and redo it. Do anything that wouldn't hurt her. He felt like a complete ass and he could've kicked himself.

"Sam? I'm so sorry, I didn't think, I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't want to…to say anything to upset you," he stammered, trying to find the right thing to say. He felt awful about hurting her.

She looked confused and suddenly she turned around and went outside to stand on the back porch. From day one she'd loved that porch, with the view of the woods and nothing else. She said it was like being apart from the world. It was their place and it couldn't be touched. Their place…that's what she called it. And now she was there crying because he was an idiot.

He followed her slowly and stood beside her. Her profile was marked by silent tears. "Sam?"

She looked at him, her big blue eyes shining with something that didn't look a thing like sadness. "Sorry about crying. I'm such a girl," she said and laughed. Jack couldn't help but smile at her laugh. He thought he'd hurt her…but it was something else. She wasn't hurt, she seemed happy. He couldn't begin to understand why she was crying for that, but then again she said it best, she was a girl. She sat down on the bench and motioned for him to do the same. She sat facing him and said, "It's just, what you said, made me feel happy. Weird I know, but it's the first time someone's really cared. I know Mark feels that way, but he's my brother and that's different. And even though dad cares, he doesn't you know? Not the way I wish he did. He loves me but…I don't know. You really mean what you said?"

He wiped a tear from her face and said, "Every word. Never doubt it."

She hugged him then, catching him by surprise. No one but family had ever hugged him. He'd never had friends that weren't military and pretentious, even if only slightly, and as for his love life…there wasn't one. He hugged her back and smiled into her perfect blonde hair.

Just his luck, Mark chose that moment to show up, but he'd parked his car in front of the house and walked around when no one answered the door. For some reason, neither of them had heard him. With Mark already thinking the things he did, it didn't do anyone any good for him to see them hugging in an intimate manner. Not that Jack thought of it that way…at least he tried not to.

* * *

A/N 2: Dun dun dun...cliffhanger!


	5. Do You Really Think I'd Stand For It?

A/N: This chapter contains some language, just to warn you. Nothing too bad. I had to add something with Mark in there. I have big brothers and they do tend to be very protective. Anyway, hope you enjoy the new chapter, and please read and review!!

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate, I'd make a planet with awesome cat people. And I'd make it a crossover with Doctor Who! But I don't...so I can't...

* * *

"Sam?! Jesus, you son of a bitch, get off of her!" He was definitely angry.

Sam jumped up, as did Jack, but she was at a loss for words. Mark had practically jumped onto the porch and he was almost steaming he was so mad. If she didn't say something she was sure he'd hit Jack.

Lamely, she said, "It's not what it looks like, I swear! We were just talking, that's it."

Mark looked from Sam to Jack where his gaze remained. "I never knew talking involved feeling my sister up."

His anger fuming again, Jack retorted, "I hugged her, I didn't nor would I ever feel her up. I wouldn't do that to her; you're not the only one who cares about her."

Sam couldn't take her eyes off Mark, she was worried about what he would do, but Jack's words echoed in her mind. 'You're not the only one who cares about her…'

Mark came and stood between Sam and Jack, hiding her behind him. He glared at Jack and said, "So you care about her huh? Is that what lie you've been feeding her so you can take advantage of her?"

"Hey! Anyone want to ask me about anything?" They both stared at her. She took a deep breath and continued. "It was my idea to come here, Mark. I didn't want to stay alone, and I hate that damn base. Jack lives off it; that's why I came. And if you think anything is going on here, you've grossly misunderstood everything. Jack is my friend, a better friend than I've ever had. He'd never try to do anything to me, and really, do you think I'd stand for it?"

Mark was startled by Sam's words, but also sobered. She was right. If anyone had tried anything with her she'd never stand for it. She'd kick and scream and inflict all kinds of damage on the unlucky scum who tried. He didn't know what to say.

Neither did Jack. He was startled at Sam's outburst, but not really. Even he knew it was the truth. If he had been some perverted jerk and tried to do anything to her, she'd just as soon kick his ass than let him get near her. He smiled, he couldn't help it. Sam was standing up now, her hands on her hips and a venomous look in her eyes. Vulnerable and sweet as he knew she was, she was capable of a lot more than she realized, and her temper lurked just beneath the surface, aching to get out.

Mark sighed. She was right; he overreacted. The little smile on this Jack's face still irked him, but his sister was trustworthy. Finally calming, he said, "Ok, I'm sorry. But what do you expect me to think? You could've called me and said something. I was just as mad that you kept it secret than I was at him."

Sam looked at him and half smiled. "Of course I kept it a secret. This is not the thing you inform brothers of." As she talked she moved toward Jack and put her arm around his waist. Jack didn't move, he was afraid of what Mark would do.

Mark's anger rose again, in all it's fury. Before he punched Jack, Sam laughed and grabbed his arm, which was actually in the air, ready to strike. "Joking!"

Mark hadn't found it funny. Jack, on the other hand, had.

Sam gave Mark a quick tour of Jack's cabin. She showed him the room she was staying in, and made a point of showing him the lock on her door, which she told him she locked every night. Not true, but it eased his mind a little. They went outside, and Sam, with the enthusiasm of a child, showed Mark all the beauty of the woods. Mark followed, amused at his sister's strange new behavior. He hadn't seen her this exuberant in a long time. He knew Jack had something to do with it, and that saddened him, because he hadn't been able to make Sam happy.

Jack stayed in the shadows, so to speak. He kept a respectful distance from Sam and her brother, to give them time to bond, and because he didn't want to do anything to spark Mark's anger. Again. He made a simple lunch while Sam showed Mark his backyard. The door was open, and he could clearly hear her explain everything. He smiled as she giggled suddenly. The sandwiches made, he took them outside and set them on a small table on the porch. Sam saw him, and dragged Mark over to sit down to lunch.

Mark had looked meek ever since Sam's outburst, and he followed her everywhere compliantly. He felt foolish at his outburst, and so embarrassed that he couldn't look at Jack in the eye. Or maybe that was because he was still a little resentful toward him. Whatever the reason, he kept his eyes on his sister who never ceased in her discussion. Between bites, she explained her renewed interest in the sky. She told him about when Jack showed her his favorite constellations. He was impressed. He knew his sister loved the sky and always reveled in the science of it, but this interest was more…unscientific now. She loved how pretty everything was, and how amazing the far reaches of the universe looked through Jack's telescope.

Jack was loving listening to Sam talk. She really had been having a wonderful time, he no longer had any doubts about that. He also liked, though he never would admit it, how Mark seemed jealous of how close he'd become to Sam. Being her big brother, Mark was close to Sam in his own way, but he never quite was the friend Sam wanted, and found in Jack.

After lunch, Sam went off to her room, ostensibly to use the restroom, but she just wanted to get Mark and Jack alone together to work out the tension still hanging in the air. She knew that Mark could like Jack, that they were similar in a lot of ways. If only they could get over whatever was still between them. Mark still seemed to be unsure of Jack, and there was something else too. It was as if he was jealous of the relationship Sam had formed with Jack.

She sat on her bed and waited until she thought it would be best to go back out. Meanwhile, Jack started cleaning up, and reluctantly, Mark got up to help. Because he couldn't stop himself, Mark commented on how well Sam was doing, that he hadn't seen her this nonchalant since before their mother's death. Jack was pleased to hear this; he was happy he could do something. But then…Mark seemed like he was angry Jack was the one to break through to Sam.

The dishes done, Jack said, "Well it's not as if I've been working with nothing. She was happy before. She's told me how much you made things easier, when Sir was gone." Jack had taken up calling General Carter "Sir" after hearing Sam say it.

Mark knew that Jack had picked up on his envy, and was a little ashamed, but also grateful that Jack didn't take all the credit. "I tried. But she was so closed off for so long. Being out here, and having a real friend has really helped her. I'm sorry I jumped down your throat so badly. She's my little sister, and I assumed the worst."

Jack smiled, relieved that finally there was no animosity left, and said, "Don't worry. Were I you, I would've kicked my ass before opening my mouth. If you know what I mean."

Mark laughed. "I know what you mean. And I would've too, but I knew Sam would've kicked my ass right back."

Sam returned to the kitchen to find them laughing. She knew they'd work it out.

Jack offered to have Mark stay the night and leave in the morning, but he insisted that there were things he had to do. "I missed enough today. I should drive back before I get in trouble."

After giving Sam a big bear hug, Mark climbed in his car and drove off. Jack leaned against a tree and sighed. "That was an eventful twenty-four hours. I thought I was finished for a second there. Your brother does have one hell of a temper. And so do you."

Sam looked at him and rolled her eyes. She didn't think she had the Carter temper; after all, her mother had been passive, never raising her voice or even seeming angry. "I don't have a temper."

"Yes you do!" Jack protested.

Turning back to the house, Sam said, "No, I don't."

Jack followed and replied, "I'd argue some more, but I'm scared of what you'd do to me."


	6. A Nightmare, A Kiss, A Goodbye, A Party

A/N: Longer chapter. It starts about a week after last chapter. Hope you like. Please R&R.

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate, they'd find a planet where mythical creaturs are real. The king and queen would be a centaur and a mermaid. But I don't, so there isn't...:(

* * *

Her heart pounded in an all-encompassing roar, and her hands reached blindly for salvation as the great monster of her subconscious attacked her in a violent, merciless nightmare. She didn't suffer these horrible dreams frequently. In fact, she hadn't had a dream this awful since her mother died. Even then, she couldn't remember feeling terror like a mountain constraining her and keeping her from getting away. Fear was flooding her and no cry, no matter how loud, could save her.

"Sam!"

It was like a song from heaven. She reached blindly again, knowing this time that he would be there. She found flesh and held tight, her long nails digging into skin that felt no pain for concern over her. She opened her eyes and he was there, not just a character in a dream, but a savior in reality. She linked her arms around his neck and wept. Wept like she had never done in front of another person. He held her tightly and rocked her back and forth until the river of tears dried and her hiccups softened and disappeared. For a while they just sat, entwined in each other's secure embrace.

Sam looked up at Jack reluctantly. She hadn't been thinking when she hugged him so fiercely, she had only wanted to feel safe. She wanted to wrench away as soon as the tears started their downpour and she realized what she was doing. She wanted to pull away and send him far away, but he held her so tightly. She could scarcely breathe, let alone find the strength to tell him to leave. And when she finally did stop crying, she could only sit there in his arms and wish he would never let go. But she had to let go sooner or later, so she did so before she lost the will.

She couldn't manage even an ironic smiled as she stared at him. She was going to say she was sorry, apologize for being such a weak woman. But she couldn't. She saw something in those eyes that was so fierce it almost frightened her. It would have frightened her if she hadn't known his eyes mirrored her own. The kiss started slowly. She wasn't even aware of their faces moving closer. Suddenly he was there and she was pressing her tear streaked lips to his and it was better than she could have imagined. Better than she had imagined.

He never let go of his strong, comforting grip as he kissed her. She felt like he was holding back, that he was being as gentle as possible as if he was afraid of hurting her. She responded with restrained passion and pulled his head closer as he tried to pull away. She kept one hand on his chest, as if she was trying to keep him away, but she kept the other around his neck, always pulling him closer. She needed him closer.

Jack hadn't intended on kissing her. When she had looked up at him, he saw such raw, naked emotion and he needed to take her pain away. He needed to feel her and let her know she wasn't alone. He needed to abandon the blockade around his heart and let her in. He needed to let her know she was in, and he would never let her go because he didn't have the strength to.

The kiss went on for what seemed like an eternity to them, but when it was over they knew it was gone all too soon. Jack had to stop himself before he pushed her further. He knew she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship, and he sure as hell would never do anything that demanded too much of her. He would never hurt her.

"No," she whispered, and held on to him so he wouldn't let go.

"Sam…we can't," he said. He had tried to say it calmly, but a tremor in his voice gave him away.

"Why?" She looked up at him. "Who says? Why do we have to let other people dictate what we do? This is no one else's life but ours! Why can't we just have this now?"

Jack wiped an errant tear from the corner of her eye and kissed her forehead. "It's not that simple, Sam. I'm ten years older than you. Your father is my superior. There are so many reasons why this wouldn't work. You know how Mark felt when he thought we were together. I don't want the rest of the world to feel that way and try to tear us apart."

"Do you really think they could?" she cried, outraged. "We're both stronger than that, and you know it, Jack!"

He pressed his fingers to her lips and rested his chin on her head. She fit with him perfectly, her body seemed to be made for his. He looked off into the distance and smiled wryly, thinking of how drastically things had changed for him.

"We are strong. And that's why we'll wait. When you're eighteen, we can be together forever, and no one will have any say. Until then, there's nothing we can do. I'll be there for you always. I'm stationed here indefinitely for now, and I'll put in for permanent residency. I'm not much good as a pilot after my knee injury. I'll do paperwork if need be. That way, we'll be able to see each other and be friends."

"Will you be able to do that? Get stationed here forever?" She was incredulous as to his plan. Almost two years until they could be together? It seemed like eternity to her heart.

"I'm good friends with the people who run this place Sam, and I'm getting loads of points for helping out your father. I'm sure it can easily be arranged, and I don't even have to move anywhere since this has been my home all along."

She could say nothing. She let her body melt into his and she sat there, or floated there as it seemed to her, and held onto the moment for as long as she could.

Hard as they both tried, time flew by at a cruel speed. Soon, the summer was over. Sir came home sooner than they were expecting, but he did call and warn them from the plane. By the time he arrived on the base, they were at Sam's house. She was unpacked and Jack was in full dress blues. Sam even had cookies in the oven.

They were seated in the living room, each on a different couch, when he walked through the door and set his luggage in the hall. Sam stood and hugged him, albeit stiffly, and welcomed him home.

"I am glad to be home, Sam. Excuse me while I put my things away." With that, he left the room and gathered his bags. Sam looked at Jack and saw emotion in his eyes that matched her own feelings. She didn't want this to be happening. It meant that until Sir left on another mission, he'd be watching her where ever she went, and though he trusted Jack, she wasn't sure if it would work out.

All too soon, Sir was back in the room and looked at Sam shrewdly. She had banished all emotion from her visage, but he noticed something different about her. He couldn't put his finger on it exactly, but she stood differently, as if with more confidence, and there was a glow about her despite her passive blue eyes. He wondered at this change in her, but disregarded it as changes from growing older. She was, after all, sixteen years old.

He turned swiftly to Jack and saluted him. Jack saluted back with a "Sir.", and shook his hand. Sam could see the trust in her father's eyes. He tended to be judgmental and dismissive, but after Hammond's approval of the boy, and his success and caring for his daughter, he decided that trust was deserved.

Jacob sat and motioned for Jack to do the same. Sam sat on the armrest of her father's chair, as she had when she was a child. Now, more than ever, she wanted him to see her as his littler girl: young and innocent. She knew there was nothing wrong with her feelings for Jack, but her father would twist it the same way Mark had. Thank God Mark felt too chastised after he left Jack's cabin, because if he had told their father (which was very unlikely), Jack wouldn't have survived the ensuing slaughter.

"Lieutenant," Jacob said curtly, "you've done a fine job taking care of Sam."

Jack humbly smiled and bowed his head and said, "Thank you, Sir. You raised a fine young girl. It was no trouble at all watching after her."

Jacob smiled and stood to shake Jack's hand again. "I'm scheduled for another mission starting in January." He looked at Sam, who managed to have a disappointed look on her face. "Unfortunately, I won't be here for Sam's seventeenth birthday in February. I won't be back until late August. I know that this would be a considerably longer time, but would you mind taking care of her again?"

Jack never lost his respectful gaze at Jacob, but inside he was doing cartwheels. Sam felt the same. Jack smiled curtly and replied, "No, Sir. It would be no problem at all. Whenever you need me, I'm at your service."

Jacob was relieved, and he dismissed Jack with the promise that he would indeed call on his services when he left for his mission.

With Sam left alone with Sir, time crept slowly along. Sir and Sam had no problems getting along. She knew better than to test his temper, and he used the time to try being her father again. He found that the change in her had been even more dramatic than he first assumed. Over a summer she had changed from a reserved, joyless girl to an outgoing, full of life young woman.

The rest of August passed uneventfully, and September went the same. By October, things had gotten back to normal in the Carter household. Sir was rarely there, though he was always home at 1900 hours expecting dinner. Sam spent her days either at school, talking to Jack on the phone, journaling, or running. The base had a great gym with a track on the roof. She met Jack there a couple times a week and they raced each other. Jack was surprised to find that Sam was incredibly athletic and could possibly beat him. Of course, he always let her beat him, but even if he hadn't, she most likely still could.

Jack was delighted that Sam made an effort to keep in touch with him. He never called her (that would be to awkward if Sir happened to answer the phone), but she called him almost every day. He loved running with her, but even though they managed to see each other often, he still missed her terribly when he was alone. He put in a request with his superiors so that he would be stationed at the base indefinitely. He found out that even though Jacob would frequently be out of the country on classified missions, he and Sam were also stationed there indefinitely.

There wasn't much of a traditional Halloween on a military base, but Jacob insisted Sam dressed up. She didn't want to, but she acquiesced, and bought a vampire costume. The leaders of the base saw it fit to throw parties for each important holiday. On Halloween, no exception was made. Jacob wore his full dress blues and Sam was dragged along looking quite ridiculous as Vampira. All the children of the officers were at the party, and all wore costumes. Sam had no interest in making friends with any of them. Most were small children or typical military children. At the moment Sam almost escaped out the back door of the mess hall, Jack showed up as Count Dracula.

They hadn't planned to dress the same, and when Sam saw Jack creep up on her with his hair dyed black, his skin dead pale, and dressed in black, she laughed out loud. He had the same reaction to her dyed black locks, pale skin, ruby lips, and very flattering floor-length black lacey skin tight dress. She looked amazing, and he couldn't believe they'd dressed the same. Well, he didn't doubt it, but it was amusing nevertheless.

"How did you ever get your dad to let your out of the house in that dress?" he asked.

Sam laughed and struck a pose. "What? You don't think it looks completely fabulous?"

"Oh," Jack replied suggestively, "I think it looks amazing. I just can't believe Sir would let you be seen in such a…barely there dress."

She smiled and said, "Well it wasn't that hard." She took the cape that hung loosely down her back and wrapped it around herself. Like that, she seemed like a shapeless Vampiress. "He never even saw the dress itself."

"Nice work. You're a sneaky little vampire."

She laughed and bared her plastic fangs at him. "I vant to suck your blood."

He covered his neck and bared his fangs at her. "No, I'm going to suck your blood!"

At his, he proceeded to chase her. She squealed and ran down the dark hallway that led to the restrooms. The end of the hall was a dead end. She turned, and before he could get her, pretended to be out of breath and fainted. Jack, afraid she was sick or hurt or something, knelt beside her and tried waking her. When his head was turned away, she reached up and pinched his neck.

Jack's heart skipped a dozen beats when Sam went down. She had a pulse, but it was fast. He looked for someone who could help and contemplated calling for Jacob, and while his head was turned away from her, she managed to reach up and pinched him. He gasped and grabbed her hand harder than he'd intended to.

"Ow, Jack I'm sorry!" she cried.

He immediately released her arm and examined it shrewdly. "No, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Sam. I'd never do that on purpose. I'd never purposefully hurt you."

Sam smiled and turned his face to hers. She said softly, "I'm fine. I know you'd never mean to hurt me. I got carried away, that's all."

Jack helped her up and asked again if she was alright. "I'm fine, I swear!" she answered, rolling her eyes.

They walked back to the mess hall. They stepped through the threshold looking as professional as they could dressed up like vampires in front of their peers. They walked through the room, enjoying the smirks and even the scoffs they got along they way. Sam wrapped herself in her cape as she walked up to Sir.

"Sir, look who I found," she said.

Jacob looked Jack over, then Sam, and smiled. "What a coincidence. Sam, Mark is here."

Sam was surprised. Mark had come to a military party? Granted he'd always loved Halloween, but still. "Where is he, Sir?"

Jacob pointed Sam in the direction of her brother, and Jack stayed behind. Feeling quite uncomfortable in front of his superior dressed as he was, Jack coughed and sparked up a light conversation with the father of his beloved.

Sam found Mark, wandering around looking for her. He was dressed as Clark Kent incognito as a meek journalist. "Mark! I'm surprised to see you," she said as she hugged him.

"I was going to a party at the Academy, but I figured I'd come see how you were doing. How is everything? Dad told me he's going away again January." He paused with a sour look on his face. "And that you'll be staying with Jack O'Neill again."

Sam rolled her eyes. "No worries, big brother. Like I said, Jack and I are just friends. Sir is the one who asked Jack to watch after me when he's gone."

"And I suppose it slipped your mind to tell Jacob you'll be staying at Jack's secluded cabin?"

Sam straightened her back indignantly and replied, "As a matter of fact, I didn't think it was important to tell him. I know there's nothing wrong with me staying there; I do love those woods and the lake and all the non-military stuff. What's wrong with that?" Before Mark could answer, Jacob and Jack showed up.

Jacob shrewdly looked over his son before saying, "I am surprised you aren't with your Academy friends. But I'm sure Sam appreciates that you are here."

Just like him, Mark thought. "Well, she is my little sister. I'd rather be here than getting plastered with my 'friends'."

Jacob pursed his lips and walked away from the group.

Sam stood, looking agape at her brother, and said, "That was not smart."

Mark shrugged and said, "He can think what he wants. I didn't come here to see him."

Sam hugged him, catching him by surprise. "I know. I'm glad you came."

Mark shrugged and tried to ruffle his sister's hair, but she slapped his arm away. "Hey!" he exclaimed.

"Hey nothing, Mark. I spent half an hour on this dye and up-do, and you are NOT messing it up."

Jack smirked. Sam's hair looked disheveled, as if she roughly dyed it, threw it up, and kept it in place with two mean looking black plastic chopsticks. He couldn't believe Sam would want to spend half an hour working on her hair. Could she have been trying to make it perfect just for him? He liked thinking so.

Mark lightly hit her shoulder and apologized. "Hey, anyone spike the punch yet?"

Sam laughed and grinned. "Yep!"

* * *

A/N 2: _sings _Tell me, baby, how's the story? Do you like it and should I keep on writing, oh? If you review, that'd be lovely.


	7. Christmas Wishes

A/N: Whew, we're moving right along. I hope y'all enjoy this. I worked really hard on it. And I intend to keep working really hard. Reviews are very much appreciated!!

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate, there would never have been any Laira. But I don't and there was...so sad.

* * *

The party somehow evaporated the animosity lingering between Jack and Mark. Shortly after Mark's encounter with Sir, Sam was called away by Hammond to dance. Jack and Mark watched her twirl on the dance floor, her cape flowing behind her and her figure fully revealed by the magnificent dress she wore. Both the men saw the effect she had on the crowd. Conversations halted as the young men in the room found their gaze glued to her. Jack felt envy, and was ashamed at this rash reaction he was having. He unreasonably felt that she was his, and they had no right looking at her that way. Mark felt anger at them for seeing his younger sister in that way. She was still his little Sam; it hadn't been long in his mind since he taught her to ride a bike and do her own hair.

Jack sensed that Mark was just as uncomfortable as he was with the situation, so he tried to spark up a conversation with him.

"Sam tells me you want to be a lawyer," he said, trying to take both their minds off of the scene before them.

Mark felt relieved at the distraction. He looked away from his sister and answered, "Yeah, actually. I'm studying to become a Criminal Defense lawyer. It's good money and…actually I'm only in it for the money."

Jack smiled and said, "If only I had made that choice when deciding what I wanted to be."

And so the men learned to be personable, and Sam danced the night away with all the men who asked, wishing each one was Jack.

Halloween passed, and with it went Thanksgiving and finally, Christmas. Sir was home for Christmas, and Mark spent a week with Sam. Jack was there too. Jacob invited him to Christmas Eve dinner and all day Christmas. It was perfect.

Mark arrived three days before Christmas, and would leave the day after. Even though it had been only two months since Sam saw him last, she missed him terribly. Sir was home the day after Mark arrived. They all worked to be polite and make the holiday as easy as it could be, but Sam knew there was a whole lot of suppressed hostility between her father and brother. And she was wound up herself, in anticipation of Jack's arrival. They had been talking on the phone often, and he told her he had the perfect present picked out for her, but he wouldn't even give her one little hint.

Finally, it was Christmas Eve. Sam awoke early and rushed downstairs to make breakfast. She expertly made buttermilk biscuits with sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, wheat toast with cinnamon butter, fresh squeezed orange juice, hot coffee, and pancakes. Sure it may have been overkill, but Christmas always put her into the mood for cooking. She moved about the kitchen, humming her mothers song, and was taken back in time to the Christmas Eve morning her mother first taught her to cook. The dish of choice: buttermilk biscuits and sausage gravy.

Her mother's long, light blond hair was swept up in a loose bun at the nape of her neck. She wore her blue nightgown, but she had her make-up on, and looked classy enough to waltz right in to the fanciest restaurant in town, despite her blue fuzzy slippers.

Anna had braided Sam's hair and put some of her favorite pink lipstick on her, but she as well was still in her nightgown, a frilly pink thing that had no sleeves and dragged on the floor. Sam was sitting on the counter as her mother hummed and pulled out the pans and ingredients. Anna turned on the stove and dumped the sausage, that she and Sam had sliced and diced, into the sauce pan. Anna spoke in soft, gentle words as she showed Sam exactly what needed to be done.

Sam's small hands powdered the sausage with flour and stirred it until it was all mixed. The sausage had been pre-cooked, so the process would be faster. After the flour caked the sausage, Sam poured in milk her mother had measured for her. Anna helped Sam stir the mixture until it was ready to set, then they set about making the biscuits. Anna put all of the ingredients into a big bowl, and Sam mixed them with a plastic spoon. When the dough was ready, Sam shaped it into several small balls that would be put into the oven and cooked into biscuits.

With the biscuits in the oven, and the gravy thickening, Anna picked up her daughter and twirled her around the room. They laughed and danced and twirled the morning away. Finally, at 10:00 am precisely, Jacob entered the kitchen, dressed casually yet elegantly, his short hair slicked back, his shoes polished like mirrors, and his gleaming smile full of unveiled joy at the sight of his wife and daughter. Mark arrived shortly after, in boxers and a Pink Floyd shirt, and they all ate together in peaceful silence.

That had been eight years before Anna had died in a car accident. Eight years before the Carter family was torn apart by hatred and grief.

Sam hadn't noticed the tears in her eyes until one heavy drop landed on the countertop.

From the doorway, a concerned Mark said, "Are you alright?" and came to stand at her side.

Sam looked up at her big brother and smiled weakly. "I was just remembering Mom."

Mark pulled Sam into a huge hug and said, "You're so much like her. She'd be so proud of you. She is so proud of you."

Sam didn't have the strength for words, so she let her memories take her back to a time when everything was easy.

She finally composed herself while Mark set the table. She noticed he put a fourth plate down, and asked him who it was for.

"Well, you cooked enough for the entire base, so I figured we'd invite someone."

"Who?" Sam asked.

Mark hid a smile, tried to look serious, and said, "Your good friend Mr. O'Neill."

Sam was completely speechless. Her mouth might as well have dropped to the floor, and a slow blush spread across her features. Jack? Mark had invited Jack over? He must be joking.

"And no, I'm not joking," Mark said as if reading her thoughts. "I figured you could call him and ask him over for breakfast too. Hey, it's alright with me if he even stays for lunch."

Perplexed, Sam stood in awe at her brother's curious suggestion. She knew they had lost most of the animosity towards each other, but what on earth had happened to bring this about? She hadn't realized she'd been talking aloud.

Mark simply laughed and handed her the phone before leaving the room.

Sam unconsciously dialed Jack's number, and he answered promptly after the second ring.

"O'Neill residence," he said, his thick, dreamy voice shattering the shock Sam felt.

She wasted no time. "Jack, apparently you're invited to come over for breakfast."

He as well wasted no time. "Be right over."

Sam hung up and wiped her hands on a dish towel. She had no idea what had gotten into Mark, but she kind of liked the new development. She abruptly realized she should shower and change before Jack came. She rushed up the stairs, skipping every other step, and bounded into the empty bathroom.

Breakfast had been wonderful, lunch had been a riot, and dinner was utterly fantastic. Sam sat in the living room with her father, brother, and true love. Jacob spoke first, "Sam, I speak for all of us when I say, thank you for such scrumptious meals."

Sam smiled and shrugged it off. She knew better than to mention her mother when the day had been going so well. She was in all of their hearts, but to say it out loud…Sir would harden up and barely talk the rest of the day. If he did say anything, it would be countering Mark's outbursts. Sam wanted the day to be perfect. Jack was with her. There had been no fights all day. She wasn't going to let anything ruin it.

She stood and said, "And now for the customary Christmas Eve present exchange."

Anna had started the tradition. She was always so excited to give her presents to her children and husband, that she insisted at least one present per person should be exchanged on the 24th. She didn't care about receiving presents, she only wanted to give them. Sam smiled at the memory of her mother's face each time someone opened a gift she had either handpicked or handmade for them.

Sam picked up three presents she had set under the tree and handed them out. She even had an Eve present for Jack, even though she hadn't known he'd be coming. Jack was shocked when Sam handed him a neatly wrapped box. He hadn't expected anything from her, even though he'd brought her something.

Sam watched with a grin on her face as everyone opened the gifts. Mark tore off the wrapping and tossed it at her as they had done when they were kids. She grinned when he finally saw what she got him. It was a black tee that read, "So what's the speed of dark?"

He laughed and remembered a day when Sir was away and they had gotten into the biggest debate over that very question. He'd said it was the opposite of the speed of light. Sam rebuked him, saying that dark had no speed. If it did, it would be the exact same as the speed of light, because dark can only exist when light leaves an area. Mark grinned and laughed. He loved it.

Jacob opened his second. Mark watched his sister and saw their mother in her. She was exactly like Anna. Even the simple joy she held in giving. Sure, she enjoyed getting a present as much as anyone else, but she truly loved giving more than getting.

Jacob let a smile overtake his features. A real smile, not a feigned one. Sam let a tear slide down her cheeks. She had given her father an old photo she found packed away in an old box. It had been taken when Sam was four. She, Mark, Jacob, and Anna were all grouped together in front a Christmas tree. Sam and Mark were laughing and playing with their new toys, and Anna and Jacob were looking at each other, matching smiles on their faces, pure love in their eyes. Jacob thought he had lost this picture, and here it was. Sam had bought a gold frame for it with ribbon on the top. She had made the photo into an ornament. At the bottom of the frame, in his wife's flowing script, was the word 'Always'. Sam found an old card her mother had signed, and took it to the jewelry store, so she could have the word inscribed on the gold just as her mother had written it.

Jacob hugged his daughter fiercely, and even half-hugged Mark.

Sam looked at Jack; it was his turn. He felt self-conscious, being the last one to go, but he carefully unwrapped the box and opened it. It was a gold paper weight in the shape of a telescope. On the bottom, in Sam's carefully scripted handwriting, were the words 'To bears in the sky, from Sam.' He knew she had been careful to put 'from Sam' in case anyone had seen, but the sentiment was beautiful nonetheless. He smiled and managed a weak laugh, and said, "Thank you, it's perfect for my collection."

Sam knew he wanted to say more, but with her father in the room, he had said only what he could. She heard only what his heart was saying, and she answered with a brilliant bright smile.

Mark gave out his presents next: a 'warning: contains scientific content' shirt for Sam and black shoe polish for Jacob, and a card that read, 'Touch my sister and I'll mess you up' for Jack. Sam looked at him in confusion and exasperation at the gift he'd given their father. He merely shrugged.

Jacob went after mark. He gave Sam a beautiful gold and diamond bracelet, and Mark a book on criminal law that contained all of the legal jargon he would need to know, and lists of federal and state laws and regulations. He handed Jack a small package, that Jack took with surprise. He hadn't expected a gift from the Colonel. It was a letter accepting Jack's request for permanent residency. Jack didn't know what to say, but he shook his superior officer's hand with more respect for the man than he'd had half and hour ago.

Mark had told Jack about the Christmas Eve gift exchange, and so he was well prepared. He pulled three packages from a pack he'd brought with him, and passed them out accordingly. He gave Jacob a book on the history of the military, Mark a card that, to his and Mark's amusement, gave Mark permission to beat him into oblivion if he ever, intentionally or otherwise, hurt Sam.

Sam opened the rather large, heavy present from Jack with all the excitement of a toddler in a toy store. He gave her a book on the locations, meaning, and history of all the major constellations. Sam was amazed. The book was beautiful, and it must have cost a fortune. She wanted to hug Jack, but she shook his hand instead and said, "It's perfect."

The exchange complete, Jack left politely, promising to return the next day, and the Carters relaxed in front of a roaring fire where Sam fell asleep leaning against her father.

On Christmas morning, Sam awoke early again and made a full breakfast. Some of the previous day's food was left, but most of the meal she made fresh. At 10:00 in the morning, her father came into the kitchen, followed by Mark and a knock at the door.

Breakfast went by pleasantly, with conversation mostly held up by Sam and Jack, and after the dishes were clean, they all moved into the living room to continue opening their presents.

This time, Jacob volunteered to go first. He gave a present to each of his children, and a small box to Jack. He gave Mark a check that would pay off the rest of his four year stay at the Academy. Mark was stunned, and Jacob remarked simply, "My son deserves a full education, and you should put your own money into savings."

He gave Sam a little box that jingled when she shook it. She thought it was jewelry or the like, but when she opened the box she found a set of keys. She looked at her father in shock. Jacob said nothing as he smiled, stood up, led Sam outside, and showed her an amazing, silver blue 1971 Volvo 1800E. Sam squealed and jumped into his arms then ran to the car and circled it over and over before finally climbing into the driver's seat. The three men watching from snowy front yard smiled at the joy on Sam's face.

After Sam spent an hour inspecting her car and thanking her father, actually calling him 'Dad' instead of 'Sir', Jack finally remarked that he still had a gift to give her. Jacob and Mark had gone into the house to clean up, and Jack stayed behind with Sam.

Sam was overwhelmed by the day. "Oh, Jack, you don't have to give me anything else, the book was perfect!"

Jack smiled and said, "Yeah, well, what good is a book that tells you where to find a constellation if you don't have any way to find it?"

Sam thought she knew what he was hinting at. "I can always use your telescope, Jack."

Jack simply led her to her into the house looking very pleased with himself. He instructed her to close her eyes, and he led her upstairs. He had already arranged everything with the Colonel, so Jacob did nothing as Jack led Sam through her bedroom. Once there, he opened the door to her balcony, and led her out, where she opened her eyes.

"Oh my God, Jack, you didn't!" she cried.

"Oh yeah," he said, as she stared at the brand new telescope he'd gotten her, "I did."

Sam was speechless. Again. It was a brand new, beautiful telescope with dials and scopes so she could find any star in the sky if she had the coordinates. But…it was so big, surely it wouldn't have fit through any door. How had he gotten it up here?

Jack, reading her thoughts, said, "I got some friends to help. It was your dad's idea to distract you with the car."

Sam beamed at him and hugged him. "I love it!"

After returning to the living room, the rest of the presents were exchanged. Jack gave Mark a tape of songs Sam told him he liked, and he gave Sir a Smith & Wesson .45 Tactical, a handsome weapon with a killer kick and deadly accuracy in the right hands. Jacob examined the weapon, and thanked Jack earnestly. Sam had been surprised at Jack's choice of gift for her father, but soon realized that it must be a military thing. Seeing Mark eye the gun interestedly, she decided it was just a guy thing in general and rolled her eyes. Mark's gifts were simple and informal, all but the one he chose for Sam. The package was neatly wrapped in blue paper which Sam tore of and threw at him. Opening the box, she caught her breath. It was a drawing of her. She was smiling hugely, and her hair was in disarray, but she looked beautiful. Sam knew Mark was talented and artistic, but she had never seen him do anything this grand.

She hugged him with tears in her eyes. "Thanks, Rembrandt. I really love it."

Christmas ended with Jack promising to see Sam at the New Year's soirée and Mark returning to the Academy. Shutting the door behind her brother and love, Sam couldn't help but feel happy.

* * *

A/N 2: We see Sam's car in season five in Ascension and Desperate Measures. I LOVE that car. It's my dream car for when I marry a rich guy :P 


	8. Someone To Watch Over Me

A/N: Next to last chapter of my pre-written material. After this, updates will be farther apart. I'll work to get new chapters up asap, but I'd rather take my time and upload only the best. Thanks again for all the reviews.

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate the Asgard would rule the world! Mwahahaha...er...cough...but I don't so they don't.

* * *

January came and Sir left. He was gone before Sam awoke on Sunday morning, with his usual note posted on the refrigerator door. Sam showered and dressed and went downstairs to make breakfast. Straying from her usual biscuits and gravy, she prepared omelets and toast. At promptly 9:00 a.m., Jack arrived with a tentative knock on the door.

From the kitchen, Sam yelled for him to come in. Jack entered the house and made his way to Sam, his stomach already rumbling. "Something smells delicious," he said when he found her setting up the table. Taking the plates from her, he said, "Here, let me."

They sat down and ate in silence, each comfortable in the other's presence. When the meal was done, Jack cleaned up. When he was done, he sat back down at the table and looked at Sam. God she looked beautiful. She had left her hair down, and it cascaded easily over her shoulders. She wore no make-up, but she never needed to anyway. She was smiling at him…he was breathless.

Finally, Jack snapped out of his reverie and said, "So what's the plan? It's different now that you have to go to school."

Sam smiled, looked around the room, and said simply, "We should stay here."

Jack understood. It would be too much of a commute to stay at the cabin and come to the base each morning for Sam's schooling. The base had it's own high school, a rigid place with harsh, unforgiving teachers, and a top-quality curriculum. It wasn't official yet, but Sam probably wouldn't even have to complete her senior year if her grades were high enough. She had swamped herself with classes after her mother died, and would complete every required class – and more - by the time she finished her Junior year. The school officials had never straight out said whether or not Sam would graduate this year or not. She still had a semester to convince them.

Jack stood, left the house, and returned seconds later with three compact bags. "I figured I'd be staying here."

Sam giggled and showed him to the guest bedroom, which was upstairs. And right next to hers.

Once they were up the stairs, Sam showed Jack where everything was. "This first door on the left is the bathroom. The door across from it is my bedroom."

"You know, I didn't get a good look at your room when I was having the telescope set up. Can I get an official tour?" Jack interrupted.

Sam blushed, coughed, and said, "Not right now you can't." Jack took that as a good sign. "The next door on the left is Mark's room. It's pointless to go in there. I'm not even sure there's a floor any more. Not one that can be seen at least. And finally, on the right, is your bedroom for the next some odd months."

She opened the door and led him inside. The room was spacious and cleanly decorated. The floors were hardwood, and there was a cream-colored rug covering a vast majority of the room. The bed was queen-sized, with tan bedding and fluffy pillows. The walls were painted off-white and paintings hung in various places. There was a dresser and desk in light oak to match the bed frame, and an oversized recliner. Jack set his bags on the bed and walked around the room admiring the paintings.

Sam saw what he was looking at and smiled. "They're my mom's."

Jack looked at her in shock. "I didn't know your mom was a painter."

Sam sat on the edge of the bed and stared at one particular portrait hanging above the desk. It was a painting of two hands, one large, one small. "She painted that one when she found out she was pregnant with me. She said she always wanted a daughter. They kept trying after Mark. She had a couple miscarriages. She said that when she found out she was pregnant the last time, she just knew everything would be ok. So she got out her oils and painted that. She said she wouldn't finish it until she gave birth to a healthy baby. When I was born, there were some complications but everything turned out alright. The first night mom and dad took me home from the hospital, she took out her brushes and finished it. She painted my hand."

Jack was fascinated by the story. He hadn't know anything about Sam's mother. He looked at Sam and loved what he saw. She had tears in her eyes, but she was smiling. He sat next to her and said, "It's beautiful."

Sam wiped her eyes and laughed. "Yeah. It is." She sighed. "Dad keeps most of the paintings in here because he can't stand looking at them. He's never said it, but I know it just hurts too much. He does keep one in his room. She painted it on Mark's thirteenth birthday. I was almost eleven. But we aren't in it. She painted it from a picture Mark took of the two of them, mom and dad. They're facing each other and smiling. It's really beautiful. And I have one in my room. Come on."

She led him to her bedroom. He had taken a quick glance at her room on Christmas, but had been more focused on her reaction. Now, he had more time to study the surroundings. As soon as he stepped in the room he knew it was perfect for her. There were scientific posters everywhere. Her beddings were a simple sky blue. She had a desk that was cluttered with papers and books. There were pictures of her on her dresser. Pictures of her as a baby, as a little girl, when she was a preteen. He took all of this in, but the first thing he noticed was the painting. It hung to the left of the balcony door with the natural light illuminating it. He smiled. It was Sam and her mother. Sam must've been at least nine years old, but she looked so much like her mother. They both had long blond hair and blue eyes. Their smiles were identical and brilliant. They had their arms around each other and were facing front. From where Jack stood, it seemed as if they were watching him. Looking directly at him. Sam's smaller size and softer face were the only things that differentiated them.

He looked at Sam and whispered, "She's beautiful." A tear fell down Sam's cheek. He stepped closer to her. "You're beautiful."

Sam watched as Jack grew nearer to her. He was looking at her in a way that she had seen only once, the night they kissed. He looked wild, yet contained. He looked like he needed to be closer to her. He looked feral and gentle at the same time. Just as he was close enough to feel her warm breath on his skin, the phone rang. For moments neither of them moved. They stood, inches apart, staring at each other. Sam's face craned up to Jack's, and he looked down at her. Finally he spoke.

"You should answer that."

With a disappointed look on her face, Sam backed away and rushed downstairs. Jack faintly heard her answer the call from the kitchen. It was Hammond; he was making sure that she was okay and Jack had arrived. She informed him that they would be staying at her house, and he approved. Pleasantries exchanged, they ended the call.

Jack slowly descended the stairs and found Sam sitting on a stool in the kitchen. Her face was downcast, and her hair fell forward so that he just barely make out her profile. He stepped close to her, turned her face towards him, and pushed her blond hair aside. She had a lone tear on the brink of falling, he pushed it away with his thumb and left his palm against her cheek. She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. They stayed that way until Jack cleared his throat and asked what Sam wanted to do for the rest of the day. She opened her eyes and raised her face to his.

There were no tears in her eyes. She looked up at his face and smiled. He was so handsome. He looked worried now, like he'd done something wrong. He worried too much. She placed her hand on his cheek, and he leaned into the touch.

Her hands were so soft, so delicate. He smiled when he saw her do so, but the worry was still there. He wasn't sure what would have happened upstairs if the phone hadn't rang when it did. No Jack, he thought to himself, do NOT go with that train of thought. But still…he had wanted to touch her, feel her porcelain skin, run her silky hair through his fingers, hold her close and never let her go. The softness of her touch on his cheek reminded him of her age, her fragility. She was too young. He knew she felt things for him, but he was certain that it was nowhere near as intense and all-consuming as what he felt for her. If he wanted Sam to be his, he had to take things slow. She was always completely trusting of him, and he knew she would do anything he asked, and that was why he had to closely watch his behavior. Her unconditional trust in him would make it easy for him to take advantage of her, and that was something Jack O'Neill would die before doing.

Sam watched his deep, lovely eyes as he stood breathlessly still. She had no idea what was going on behind those chocolate eyes, but she desperately wanted to know. Finally, she spoke.

"Let's just stay here and hang out today. You can get set up in your room, and I have some studying I wanted to get done," she said. The seriousness of the moment had passed, and with an evil glint in her eye, Sam said, "It's quantum mechanics. Would you like to help me study?"

Jack laughed and lightly punched her shoulder. "Yeah, because I even know what quantum mechanics is. No, I'll just sit back and watch you be smart."

Under her breath, but loud enough for Jack to hear, Sam said, "Like always."

* * *

A/N 2: Haha..."Like always" Even then, Jack pretended to be dumber than he is. But I love that about him. It's so cute.

"Weren't you listening? Nintendos pass through everything!!" Jack, Crystal Skull


	9. Seventeen

A/N: Whew. All these chapters and it's only been half a year. And I plan to keep going until she joins the SGC at approximately 35! Of course, the later years will be shorter and less descriptive. But, boy, have I gotten myself in over my head. Anyway, I sincerely hope you all like this. It's been a project close to my heart for a while. Heartfelt thanks to all who have reviewed!

Disclaimer: I do own an action figure of Frank from Donnie Darko. But I don't own Stargate. I wish I did.

* * *

With February came Sam's seventeenth birthday. She awoke early and showered. When she came downstairs after dressing and doing her hair, Jack was already awake, and a wondrous smell filled the air. She went into the kitchen and found the table had already been set, and there were two plates piled with food: omelettes, bacon, hash browns, French toast, and pancakes. Sam stopped dead in the doorway with her jaw dropped. Jack, seeing her, smiled.

"You like?" he said, immensely pleased with himself.

"I…wow. You did this yourself?" She was shocked.

"You're not the only one who can cook! I admit, I'm not as good as you, but I can at least do this much. In fact, besides macaroni and cheese, cereal, and sandwiches, this is a compilation of every dish I know how to make."

Sam smiled at him. He was dressed in jeans and a Pink Floyd tee shirt, and his hair was messy like usual, but she thought he looked more handsome than she had ever seen him. She was so used to doing everything for other people, but she was completely surprised to have someone do something for her. She sat at the table and looked at the food longingly. It looked delicious. She wouldn't let Jack get off that easy, however, so she picked up a fork and cut a bite of the omelette. She looked at Jack as if she wasn't sure, looked at the food, and tasted it. Jack was staring at her expectantly. She had planned to pretend it was disgusting, but it was so good that she couldn't resist the look of pleasure that crossed her features. He had used bits of bacon, sweet onion, tomatoes, and green peppers in the omelette, and it was possibly the most delectable thing she had ever eaten…that she hadn't cooked herself, of course.

Jack smiled smugly at Sam's reaction. Sure, he couldn't cook many meals, but those he could were definitely not gross. "So, she likes my cooking!"

Sam glared at him, but ate another bite. "Yes," she said with her mouth full. Swallowing, she said, "I had no idea you could cook."

Smirking, Jack took a seat beside her. Taking a huge bite off his plate, Jack said, "You're not the only one with talents, you know."

"I know now…and I'm completely shocked! Jack O'Neill…with talents?"

Jack glared at her, but held his tongue as she took a bite of the French toast. Again, she couldn't disguise the look that crossed her face as she tasted the toast. It was delectable.

After breakfast, Jack had surprised Sam with what he called 'part one of her present.' He led her into the living room with her eyes closed and his hand covering them just in case. When he removed his hand, she opened her eyes and gasped. The room was filled with flowers, all of her favorites, in fact. On the floor, tables, and even couches perched beautiful vases of pink, yellow, red, black, and white roses, white tulips, snap dragons, columbines, irises, sunflowers, and orchids of all colors. She gasped and stared at the display with her mouth hanging open. She hadn't seen the living room when she came downstairs for breakfast because she had taken the back stairs, but it seemed impossible that he had done all this without her knowledge.

Reading her mind, Jack said, "I had them brought in while you were sleeping. I saw pictures of these flowers in your room, so I figured you'd like them. Do you?"

It was a question he didn't have to ask, and he knew it. When Sam turned to face him, his wolfish grin was stretched ear to ear. She smiled and said, "I love it! But what on earth are we going to do with all these flowers? We can't keep them here, though I wish we could. They're so beautiful!"

She rushed toward him and hugged him. Smiling and stroking her hair, Jack said, "Well, I figured you'd love the flowers, and I hated the thought of spending so much money on something that would die, so all of these are fake."

Sam stared at the flora. Surely they were real? They were too beautiful to be anything but. Touching the nearest bunch of tulips, she realized they were fake. They were silk.

Jack pulled a black rose from a vase and handed it to her. He knew they were her favorite variety of rose. Impulsively, Sam smelled the flower and found it perfumed. "They all smell," said Jack.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You said this was only part one of my present. How on earth could anything get better than this?"

Jack smirked into her hair. "You'll just have to wait and see."

Sam and Jack shared lunch with Colonel Hammond. The conversation was lively; in fact, they were the rowdiest group in the restaurant. Hammond knew Sam felt more comfortable off base, so he treated them to lunch at a chic new place called La Fleur. Sam ordered a fresh tossed salad, Jack had a steak – which he called the juiciest he'd ever tasted – and Hammond, sticking to his Texan roots, had a hamburger. The meal went by quickly, and they departed planning to meet back up at Sam's house.

Seated together in Sam's living room with a Beegees record playing, Jack informed Sam that there were indeed three parts to her gift. This was part two. When Jack left the room to fetch her present, Hammond remarked on the flowers, most of which had not been moved since the morning.

Sam laughed and said, "You're telling me. I almost had a stroke when I saw them all. I appreciate the thought, but this is just too much."

George smiled. He could see that the two had grown even closer since he'd seen them last. It was a subtle change, of course. He trusted Jack and knew that there would be nothing between them until Sam was older. But there was a palpable spark between them. Several times during their lunch he had noticed them eyeing each other. He saw the light in Sam's eyes, and the joy in Jack's demeanor when she was near. He was happy for them.

Jack returned to the room with a small box. He sat and said nothing. Hammond took this as his cue. He pulled a flat, rectangular box from his briefcase. Sam received it happily and tore off the blue wrapping paper. It was a framed photo of her mother when she was a teenager. Tears sprang instantly to her eyes.

Hammond shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't handle tears well. He cleared his throat and said, as gently as possible for a hardened military Colonel, "I found that when Amelia made me clean the attic." This drew a laugh from Sam. Amelia was Hammond's wife, and Sam adored her. She could appear to be a cold, dour woman, but around her husband she was completely different. She still made it clear that she was in charge, his status as Colonel notwithstanding, but she was gentle, kind, and loving. George continued, "It was in a trunk from my younger days. I knew your father then. We were both training for the service. He was head over heels in love with your mom, even then. She was seventeen when that was taken. Just one year before Jake proposed."

In silence, Sam studied the photograph. She did look remarkably like her mother, and the resemblance grew each year. She couldn't help but wonder if that was why her father was away so much. She reminded him too much of the love he lost.

"Thank you so much, George." She wiped her eyes with a handkerchief provided by Jack. "I love it. It's perfect."

George, uncomfortable with flattery as well as tears, shrugged the compliments off, but he couldn't help but smile. He looked expectantly to Jack, who took a deep breath and handed Sam the present. She opened the box as earnestly as she had the other one, and gasped when she saw the contents. She pulled out a silver charm bracelet with five shining charms. She fingered the tiny figures: a telescope, two bears, one small, one large, a dolphin, and a scorpion. She looked up at him, remembering the night he taught her to love the beauty of the sky in its simplicity instead of its science. There was a charm for each constellation he showed her.

"Oh Jack, it's beautiful. I love it. Thank you." She looked at him and hoped he read her true meaning in her eyes. She did love it, but she loved him for the sentiment. He knew how much that night had meant to her. It was a beautiful memory they shared.

George sensed something behind the gift, something deep and involving the special relationship they shared. He knew better than to ruin their moment with questions.

Despite Hammond's best efforts, their moment was ruined, though not by his interjection. There was a brief, loud knock at the door followed by Mark's entrance. George braced himself. Mark had come to him when Sam was staying with Jack over the summer. He had distrusted Jack and worried that he would take advantage of his naïve sister.

"I know Sam's smart," Mark had said, "but she's just a kid still. I don't want her getting hurt."

George had worked to convince Mark of Jack's good intentions, but he knew there was still some animosity between them.

Sam ran to Mark as soon as he entered the living room. She hugged him briefly then held out her hands to receive her presents. Mark chuckled and handed her two boxes. One was wrapped merrily in blue and gold. The other was wrapped in brown paper and twine. There were postmarks on the top.

Pointing to the plain package, Mark said, "That was on the porch. I assume it's from dad."

Sam sat on the couch by Jack and motioned for Mark to sit on the other side of her. Hammond stifled a laugh as he observed the two men glance at each other, Mark with a slight scowl and Jack with a smile. Sam didn't notice them. She ripped the wrapping off Mark's present and threw it at him. Inside the box was a framed drawing and a necklace. The drawing was of their mother. Sam initially thought it was her, but she realized it was their mother when she noticed the mole under the right eye. Sam wanted to cry, but she didn't want to make Mark feel bad. Instead she beamed at him, hugged him fiercely, and told him their mother would be so proud.

"I'll hang it next to Mom's painting in my room," she said, "It'll be perfect there."

Sam picked up the necklace, a simple silver chain with a silver heart adorned with blue gems. On the back of the heart was engraved '_To my favorite smartass, Love Mark_'. Sam laughed and showed George and Jack.

The men laughed.

Sam then opened the plainly wrapped package. Inside was a sheer, embroidered blue scarf with fringe and a beautiful jade bracelet. She immediately put on the bracelet and tied the scarf around her waist; the fabric sparked as it caught the light.

With tears in her eyes, she read the letter from her father. The men all looked away uncomfortably. George didn't know what else to do. Mark, who wanted to hate his father, was happy for Sam. Jack couldn't bear to see her cry, even if they were happy tears. Eventually, Sam folded the paper and set it aside, smiling.

George took his leave soon after, promising to check in sometime. Mark, Jack, and Sam spent the day off the base. They went to the movie theater and saw two films, got ice cream, went to a park, then stopped at a restaurant for dinner. Sam picked the place, a casual steakhouse called The Range.

Mark left for the Academy after dinner. He hugged his sister goodbye and nodded curtly at Jack. Sam drove Jack back to her house in her new car. There, they relaxed in the living room listening to the radio.

"This was a great birthday," Sam said.

"It's not over yet," Jack said as he smirked.

"Jack, you really don't have to give me anything more. Today was perfect. Just having you here was gift enough."

Jack smiled and walked slowly from the room, leaving Sam with a bemused look on her face.

When he returned, he held a small box. She eyed it suspiciously. He sat next to her and set the box in her palm. She looked at him then the box, and opened it.

Her breath caught in her throat. Lying in a bed of velvet was a spectacular topaz ring. She looked at him, her eyes wide. He smiled.

"It's just a promise ring. I promise to always stand by you faithfully and loyally until you tire of me and find someone who actually deserves you."

Sam couldn't move. She couldn't breath. She could hardly blink. Jack laughed, took the box from her hands, and placed the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. She stared at it for a few moments, then looked back at him, happy tears making her eyes bright.

"No one deserves me more."

* * *

"By the way, how is the wound?"  
"Wound?"  
"I understand you got stabbed in the stomach?"  
"Oh, yeah, it was nothing. With any luck there won't even be a scar."  
"Good, I was concerned."  
"You were?"  
"Sure, if it doesn't heal properly, you'll never wear that sweet little tanktop again."


	10. Something

AN: It has been too long since my last update. For that I apologize. With college and work, I barely have time to think, let alone write anything decent. This chapter is extremely short and needs revision, but I knew I had to post something.

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate SG-1 and all things affiliated, the Ori wouldn't exist. But I don't, and they do.

* * *

The morning after her birthday, Sam awoke in a cold sweat. She hadn't had a nightmare since the night Jack kissed her. This one was pale by comparison. More of a bad dream. She could only remember being alone in a field of roses that stretched for miles in every direction. She called for her father, for Mark, for Jack, for anybody. But no one answered.

Sitting in bed, she felt a strong need to be held. At least to not alone. She rose from bed and crept to Jack's room. His door was open, as it always was. She stood silently in the threshold, debating. She turned to leave and Jack said, "What's the matter?"

She stilled, half turned, and didn't know what to say. "Bad dream."

Jack sat, the sheet spilling down and revealing his chest. Sam had found early that he tended to sleep in only boxers, but she wasn't going to complain. Staring at him, the moonlight spilling on his naked skin, his hair disheveled and his eyes bright, Sam couldn't help but cry.

He stood immediately and wrapped her in his arms. She froze for a moment, then melted in his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist, her hands hesitating on the bare skin of his back.

"Tell me about it," he whispered.

She buried her face in his chest and replied, "I was alone for so long before you. I can't stand to be that alone again."

She hated admitting to weakness, but she knew that he would never judge her.

Jack ran his hands through her hair and sighed, kissing the top of her head. He walked backwards to the bed and sat, bringing her with him. He cradled her in his lap and said, "I know just what you mean. When I was your age, I was working day in and out to support my mom. I didn't have time for friends. Not that I've ever had many. Joining the military gave me a huge family, but it didn't make me any less lonely."

Sam raised her face to his, a tiny smile playing on her lips. "When you were my age?"

Jack's eyes were serious when he whispered, "You forget I'm ten years older than you. That's a long time."

She frowned. "Not that long. Not long enough to make us very different from each other. We're so much alike. I always felt like I was half a person. Until recently."

"Soul mates?" Jack said with a frown. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to take advantage of Sam. Leading her on, making her believe they had true love, would be doing just that.

Sam saw the hesitation in his eyes. "Maybe you're not my other half. But I'm better with you. Healed. Happy. Isn't that something?"

"Yeah," he said. He hugged her tight and stared at her mother's painting. He didn't think she loved him like he loved her. He would give anything to be with only her forever. But he didn't want to take away her future. She deserved better than him. He sighed. "It's something."


	11. Greatest Fear

AN: First, let me sincerely apologize for the ridiculous wait. I got my heart broken by an idiot early this year, and wasn't exactly in the mood to right anything romantic. But I'm back to my old self now, and when I realized how much I've been slacking, I started writing immediately.

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate SG-1, things would never have stayed in that room. But I don't, and they did.

* * *

The months passed, without a word from Sir. Sam was worried about him, but she was not unfamiliar with the waiting. Her father worked black ops. That much she knew. She also knew it might be a long time before she saw him again. If she ever saw him again.

Jack helped take her mind off things. When she wasn't studying, he occupied all her time. She didn't have a chance to worry.

Towards the end of the semester, Sam met with the Dean of her school. He told her that he was very proud of her accomplishments, that her work was exemplary, and she would be graduating, with honors, a year early.

She drove home in haste, barely containing her excitement. When she ran in the door, Jack met her immediately. He was concerned at first, but her grin was contagious. Soon he was smiling hugely as she gave him a hug.

"Oh Jack, I'm so excited! I'm graduating at the end of the month!"

Jack pulled back, surprised but ecstatic. He knew this is what she had been working for. "That's great! No more stuffy school for you. Now you can go off to college and –" he paused.

Sam went on about her plans. Said she might even join the Academy. Or maybe some Ivy League school. Jack barely heard her.

Behind the pride he felt for her, Jack was devastated. If she went off to college, he knew she would forget him. Find someone better. Someone smart and worthy. He always feared she would leave him, but this was just too soon.

"Jack?" she asked.

He snapped out of his inner turmoil and smiled. "I'm just so happy for you."

She looked at him, her bright eyes suspicious. She knew him well enough to see his well-masked pain. But why? She couldn't understand.

Before she could ask him what was wrong, he grabbed her hand and led her out of the house.

"We have to celebrate!" he said enthusiastically.

She followed him smiling, putting aside her questions for the moment. But she had not forgotten that look in his eyes. The look of a man whose greatest fears had been realized.

That night, they sat together in the living room, soft music playing in the background. Sam tried to study, but her mind was consumed with worry for Jack. Over dinner he had been his usual happy-go-lucky self, telling her jokes, laughing. But when she mentioned her impending graduation or plans for college and beyond, a shadow crossed his face.

She looked at him surreptitiously. He sat on the opposite end of the couch from her, a book on astronomy in his hands. She looked closer at the open book.

"What's so interesting about red giants?" she asked.

He seemed startled by her question and confused. "What?"

She almost smiled. "You've been reading that page for the past twenty minutes."

He looked at the page like he'd never seen it before. "Have I?"

Sam sighed and set down her text book. She moved closer to him, tucking her legs under her and fidgeting uncomfortably.

"What is it, Jack? What's wrong?"

Jack shook his head and gave her one of his trademark grins. But it didn't reach his eyes, and her concern grew.

"Nothing at all."

Her fists clenched and she said hotly, "Don't give me that bullshit, Jack O'Neill!" Much to her dismay, a tear fell from the corner of her eye. She moved to wipe it away angrily, but he got to it first, and gently wiped the tear from her cheek, his face pained.

"I'm happy for you, Sam. Don't worry about me," he said sincerely. But she wasn't buying it.

"Jack," she pleaded, "please! Tell me. You can tell me anything, you know. You're upset and I want to know why."

His resolve to remain silent crumbled in a surprising burst of anger.

"Upset? I don't have the right to be upset. What a fool I am. I knew this day would come, knew you would eventually go away from me. Once you live a little, meet more people, you'll realize that whatever feelings you have for me mean nothing, and you will forget about me. And that's your right, Samantha. You deserve so much more than what I can give you. And now you'll go to college and –"

Her slap cut off his next words. She stood and crossed the room in fury, tears falling freely. She paced in front of the window, her hands running through her hair, struggling to regain her sense. Jack was locked on the couch, too shocked to move.

Sam struggled to breath slowly, but found herself almost hyperventilating. She didn't understand what was happening. Her first thought was that Jack didn't love her. She should have known. Hadn't he said they weren't soul mates? Hadn't he always seemed distant, despite her efforts? But his words gave her pause. He said she deserved more than him. Was that his way of telling her she wasn't right for him? Or did he really mean that she wasn't good enough for him?

As her breaths came quicker, shallower, her vision, already blurred by tears, grew darker. Jack saw how close she was to passing out, and rushed toward her. He grabbed her, hugged her tightly, and sat her on the couch, instructing her to put her head between her knees.

As her breathing slowed, her tears flowed even faster.

"Sam, my Sam, I'm so sorry. Please…"

Not moving from her position, Sam waved him away. Jack wanted nothing more than to see her smile. He needed to see her smile, to know that she was okay. He couldn't bear the thought that he had caused this pain.

After what seemed like eternity, Sam sat straight. Looking straight ahead, still trying to convince herself that she could survive the pain that tore at her soul, she said, "Is that what you think?"

"What?"

She closed her eyes. "That I'm going to leave you now. Forget about you, find someone new. Stop loving you."

Jack's hands began to ache from clenching them so fiercely. He hated himself at the moment, would have given anything to take back his idiotic words.

"I can't help it, Sam. You are so incredible. You're beautiful, intelligent, young…you deserve someone who can give you the world. Hell, someone who can give you the whole universe. What can I give you except –"

"Your heart. That's all I need, Jack. And it's certainly more than I could ever ask for. I couldn't walk away from you if I tried. And if you ever left me, it would devastate me."

Jack shook his head, frowning. "You can't know that. You're so young, Sam. You'll meet more people in the years to come, and just maybe you'll find someone who deserves you completely. Surely you'll find someone who deserves you more than me."

Sam still couldn't look at him. She kept her gaze locked on the floor as she said, "But I do know. Just now, I thought you didn't love me, and I felt like the whole world was dissolving."

Finally, he turned her to look at him, his eyes fierce. "I do love you."

A hint of her despair faded. "But that's not enough for you."

"No! I mean, yes, it is enough. It's more than enough. For me. But not for you."

"Jack, we both know I am remarkably intelligent, but even I don't understand that statement whatsoever. If you love me, it is more than enough."

"But…"

She took his face in her hands, searching his eyes. "Do you love me, Jack?"

"Yes."

"And I love you. I may be attending college soon, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I won't be able to see you as much, and I'll hate that, but every moment of every day you will be with me. In my mind, in my heart."

"In your soul."

Her brows furrowed, but a hint of a smile returned to her lips. "What are you saying?"

"That I love you. That I don't want to take anything away from you, prevent you from having anything you deserve, but that I can't pretend I don't feel this way. Is there such a thing as soul mates? I don't know. But if there is, then you are mine. You are everything I want and need. More than! You are more than I could have asked from life."

Sam hugged him, and he returned the embrace, burying his face in her hair.

Her words muffled, she said, "Jack, you are quite literally the answer to my prayers. I don't know how I got so lucky to be loved so much, but now that I have you, I'm not letting go. You have my heart, and it will always be yours. Just don't go and break it again, okay?"

He held her tighter, remorse eating him like acid. He'd broken her heart. "If it is within my power, I will never let anything hurt you again."


	12. Warzone Chess

AN: I'm trying hard to make up for the _months _of no updates. I hope the story doesn't suffer as a result, but I'm trying to write something every day.

Disclaimer: If I owned Stargate SG-1, they wouldn't have killed Janet. But I don't, and they did.

* * *

Sam exhaled in anger when the phone rang again. She and Jack were deep into a game of chess. She was winning of course. But for all his admissions of lack of intelligence, Jack was surprisingly quick witted. And very smart when it comes to battle strategy. He was treating the chess board like a war zone, and as a result, Sam was struggling to retain her place as victor.

"Dammit!" she swore as the phone rang again. She stood swiftly and ran to the phone, answering with a curt, "Carter residence."

"Samantha, how are things at home?"

She froze, stunned to hear her father's voice. "Sir! I've been worried. Things are great here. Fantastic, actually. I'm graduating next week."

"I knew you'd make me proud, Sam. How's Mark's schooling?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "He was born to be a lawyer, Sir."

"Good. I won't be home for a few months yet, Sam. You'll do fine without me."

She sighed. "Yes, Sir."

"I have to go now, Sam. Be good."

He hung up before she could tell him she loved him. Cradling the phone, she vaguely wished she had a different dad, then chided herself for thinking such an awful thing.

Jack was waiting patiently for her, his eyes sympathetic and understanding when she sat again. "I'm guessing he'll be back in a few months?"

Sam smiled weakly. "Yes. Now…back to me kicking your butt at chess."

On the morning of her graduation, Sam stood in her room fidgeting nervously with the dark blue dress she wore. Her hair was curled loosely, and she had put on more make-up than she was used to wearing. She was by no means shy, but she shuddered and her stomach turned at the thought of walking across a stage in front of hundreds of strangers.

She had briefly toyed with the idea of wearing the heels she bought with the dress, but immediately chose flats instead. She did not want to risk tripping, and she wasn't always so steady on stilettos.

Jack stood in the threshold, watching her. He grinned as she smoothed her hair for the umpteenth time.

"You look beautiful."

She didn't look at him. Instead, she examined her profile closer and considered changing.

"I'm serious, Sam. You look radiant. You shouldn't be nervous, you should be excited."

This time she glanced at him.

"Not be nervous? Oh I wish they would have told me about this sooner, so I'd be more prepared."

Jack laughed and walked toward her to give her a gentle hug. She had been fine until the day before, merely excited and slightly exuberant, but when she realized it was the day before her graduation, she began to panic.

"You already graduated. This is just a ceremony, a celebration. And hey, at least you don't have to give a speech. Just walk across a short stage, take your diploma, and pose for some pictures."

She laughed. "I'm more nervous I suppose about what comes after today."

He frowned. "What?"

She took a deep breath and stared intently at her reflection, answering somberly, "Everything."

Jack sat beside Mark and Hammond during the graduation ceremony. He began to feel as nervous as Sam had been, which was ridiculous. Mark, on the other hand, was wildly enthusiastic about the whole thing. He couldn't have been more proud for his sister. Hammond watched silently, holding Amelia's hand and thinking that Anna would have been proud, and he certainly was.

"Samantha Carter, with honors," the Dean called.

The three men craned to see Sam as she stood from her seat, and climbed the steps to the stage. She walked confidently, her head held high and her smile bright. She took the diploma from her Dean, shook his hand with gratitude, and posed for those silly graduation pictures. Catching Jack's eye in the distance, her smile grew.

After the ceremony, which had been blessedly concise, Mark left for the Academy. He had finals soon, and summer training to prepare for.

"Don't miss me too much over the summer. It'll be hard, but you'll be fine with out me," he said as he hugged Sam.

She laughed and eyed him incredulously. "I'm not sure I can make it, though. Whatever will I do without my big brother to protect me?"

He sobered slightly and glanced at Jack. "I think you'll be fine. Just…don't rush into anything, okay?"

She patted his shoulder reassuringly. "Mark, I promise. And stay focused on the training. Don't get distracted by all those female cadets you'll be around."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

She laughed as she walked him to the waiting cab. "That all men are men. Good luck. Miss you lots already."

Jack stood with Sam as the cab drove away, and as they turned back to the house, he asked, "Is that true?"

"What?"

"That all men are men."

She laughed, throwing her head back and slapping his arm. He grinned at the sight, and mentally added to his list of life goals to make her smile like that as often as he could.

"Jack, you know it's true. You may act like a gentlemen, but in the quiet of your mind you are anything but."

He considered that for a moment, and figured she must see right through his charades. Because some of the thoughts he'd had about her were anything but gentlemanly.


	13. Making the Best of It

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate. Wish I did...

* * *

With school over, Sam and Jack packed up and moved out to his cabin. She had been accepted at the Academy, and would start in the fall. She had all summer to be with Jack.

Their first night there, Jack sat Sam down and told her he had something serious to discuss.

"You know I've been grounded for a while, and this base is my permanent home, but I've been recruited for an operative beginning in August."

Sam was silent for a moment. "Classified?"

"Highly."

She bit her lip and took his hand in hers. "Dangerous?"

He hesitated. "Yes." He couldn't lie to her.

"And you have no choice, do you?"

He caressed her cheek. "No. But I've done things like this before, Sam."

She hugged him, trying to hide her tears. "You promise me now that you'll do everything you can to return to me."

He returned her embrace, hating the fact that this was happening. He knew he'd be sent on more missions after his grounding, but he wasn't prepared for how hard it would be to leave Sam behind.

"I will. You know I will. Hey. I am a good soldier, after all. Highly specialized. And I'll have a good team. I've worked with a few of them before. We'll be in there and out before you know it."

Sam was familiar with waiting. She had been waiting for her father to return home from dangerous missions most of her life. But this was different. This was her love, her heart going away.

"We still have summer, don't we?"

"Of course. I'll be training on weekends, getting back into shape, but during the week I'm yours and yours alone."

She smiled. "Then we'll make the best of it."

The first weekend of his training, Jack reluctantly left Sam at his cabin. She had insisted that she wanted to spend as little time near the military as possible before she joined the academy and would have no choice. While he was gone, she walked through the house absently, finding herself in his room by accident. She looked around the dark space and couldn't stop the lone tear that fell.

"Traitor," she said as she stubbornly wiped the tear away. She had to be strong. She would be strong, for Jack, but mostly for herself.

She sat on his bed, and hugged one of the pillows, letting his smell wash over her. While she sat there, she decided that she would do something special for him before he left. After all, he'd given her so much already. The least she could do was send him away with sufficient incentive to return home hastily.

Her first idea made her shiver. It was her favorite, but she was sure he'd never go for it. She'd teased him about not being a true gentleman, but he would never do anything to compromise or take advantage of her. In that way, she thought he was almost too gentlemanly, prevented by respect and age to further their physical relationship.

Not that they had much of a physical relationship. Jack had given Sam her first kiss, her first romantic embrace. He'd also given her a desire for a different kind of first. She never acted on it. She was too afraid of being rejected. She assumed he wanted her in the same way, but would refuse to act on their baser animal needs.

She laughed at the thought of trying to seduce the man she loved. It wouldn't be too hard, once she pushed past that silly barrier of his. And she had all summer.

Jack slept on base that weekend, as he would every weekend, and early Monday morning, long before sunrise, he sped home to make Sam breakfast before she awoke. The second week, Sam pulled herself out of bed at midnight. This time, she would be prepared.

She showered quickly, without washing her hair. She dressed in a tank top and a pair of his boxers, unable to wear her mother's nightgown knowing what she had planned, and waiting in the dark for Jack to arrive.

At 0400, Jack sneaked in the cabin, tiptoeing to the kitchen. When he entered, Sam flipped on the light and rushed into his arms. He'd been startled, but pleasantly surprised when he saw her.

Before he could speak, Sam plastered her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body to his. He didn't react at first, dazed by her behavior, but quickly fell into the kiss with fervor that matched hers.

Breathless, he peeled Sam's arms away and stood back slightly, trying desperately to regain his composure.

"What…wow…what was that for?"

Sam smiled gleefully, out of breath herself. "Just trying to show you how much I love you. Of course, that hardly covers it. Would you like me to really show you?"

As she spoke, she tried her best to look seductive and suggestive. She had no practice in the art of seduction and was unsure of herself, but Jack had to distance himself.

"Sam…no."

She sighed. She hadn't expected it to be that easy, but she had made progress.

"Okay, then. I'm going back to bed."

Jack watched her leave, leaning against the wall for support. He hadn't expected anything like that, and he wasn't sure he could control himself if it happened again. Given Sam's sly smile as she walked away, he was certain that it would.

"She'll be the death of me," he muttered, walking quickly to his bedroom where he locked the door securely.

* * *

AN: ALIMOO1971 mentioned something that I have to clarify: In this reality, Sam and Jack are ten years apart in age. I changed it because it fit better and, well, this is my little universe. So Sam was still born in '68, but Jack was born in '58. The current year in this story is '85.

To lkhoward88, thanks for the suggestion. It inspired this op Jack's about to go on.

Thanks for all the reviews! And I'm updating as much as possible. Tell me what you think, and I welcome suggestions.


	14. Morning Reveals the Truth

AN: To clarify, this chapter may seem at odds with the one before, but there was an intended gap in chapter 13. The first part describes Sam's half-bakes ideas, which she doesn't take very seriously. This chapter describes what happened after that and before Jack came home.

I've been reading a lot of romantic stories lately and thought my fic lacked a certain fire between my lovebirds. I knew it was too early for them, but thought I had to address the problem somehow. Introduce some desire, then explain why it may be a while before anything happens. Hey, Sam's a teenager still suffering from "raging hormones", Jack's a guy, and they've been living in close quarters for some time. The dam was bound to crack eventually. But it won't break yet. So don't worry, my Sam's not a slut. (VisualIDentificationZeta, I've never read that story and I certainly never want to.)

Disclaimer: Non possiedo Stargate. Eu não possuo Stargate. Jag äger inte Stargate. I do not own Stargate. Purtroppo.

* * *

Sam awoke late into the morning, immediately feeling remorse for her actions the night before. Her plan had been to share a kiss with Jack that was more intimate than the rare kisses he had given her. But as she waited for him that weekend, her emotions fell into chaos.

She constantly second guessed herself, questioning her plans, doubting her motives. There was physical attraction between Jack and herself, but the morning after her blunder in seduction, she became aware that her desire for Jack was not the reason behind her actions.

The thought of losing Jack was almost too much for her. She tried stalwartly not to think that he may never return from this operative, but her mind flashed to a picture of herself, sobbing uncontrollably, at Jack's closed-casket funeral.

This funeral scene repeated in her nightmares, but the casket wasn't closed, and she was unable to look away from Jack's bloodied face, his body alternately riddled with bullets or burned beyond recognition.

Her shadow of an idea, which at first she hadn't believed she'd actually pursue, became more realistic each time that image burned in her mind. It became less about sharing in a physical manifestation of their love and more about a need to hold him as close as humanly possible and never let him go.

She feared his reaction, worried that she had tarnished his opinion of her, so she delayed as long as possible leaving her room. She braided her hair and dressed casually, her heart pounding in an emotion akin to fear.

She'd been a fool. Jack O'Neill was not the type of man to enter casually or prematurely into an intimate relationship. He wouldn't risk hurting Sam and certainly wouldn't risk going to jail and losing his military career.

She agonized for an hour over what she would say to him, but decided that she would pretend nothing was different. She would walk out there and act as if the whole thing never happened. And that's what she did.

Brunch was waiting on the kitchen table, and Jack was reading Dostoevsky, much to her surprise, when she finally left her room. She smiled at him and turned away quickly, so he wouldn't see the blush that she couldn't prevent.

She ate quickly, praising his culinary skills which, after all this time, still amazed her. She put on one of their favorite albums and wandered out to the porch, asking if he thought would be a good day for fishing.

"It's always a good day for fishing."

She grabbed their poles, and headed for the deck, Jack following closely. He'd noticed her blush and accepted her avoidance of the event. To say he'd been stunned by that kiss and her words was an understatement. He'd been aghast. And he hadn't missed that almost desperate gleam in her eye, in contrast with her smiles.

He'd lain awake for an hour wondering what had gotten into her. He realized, before she did, that she had let her fear override her sense. She didn't want him to go, but she didn't know how to make him stay.

He sat beside her, his fishing pole in hand, and sighed.

"I love this. Nice day, pretty girl, fishing pole. What more could I ask for?"

Sam laughed. "Maybe some actual fish to catch."

"Hey! There's a few in there. If you want to really catch something, let's go the big lake."

Sam leaned back in her deck chair. "No. This is better. Much more suspenseful."

By dinner, Sam was feeling slightly less mortified at herself. Jack had been exhausted when she assaulted him, and if he mentioned it, she could either claim he'd been dreaming or she'd been sleepwalking.

The latter was the more plausible option. Jack new she had a penchant for nightmares. How would he know she didn't also suffer from random, intense bouts of somnambulism?

Alone in her room that night, Sam abandoned any half-formed plans of doing anything like she'd done the night before. She did want to make the best of the time they had, but she wasn't ready to push their relationship that far.

What she really wanted was to spend as much time as possible with Jack. And she would be content if that time was spent reading together on separate couches, fishing all day, or talking for hours about everything and nothing at the same time.

As long as she was with him, everything would be okay. And maybe, by the end of summer, she'd be able to watch him leave and not fall apart. At the moment however, that didn't seem too likely.

* * *

AN2: I'm slightly stuck on Jack's upcoming op, so any suggestions are welcome.


	15. The Mission

AN: **I found a typo thanks to a reviewer, and I've fixed it. I typed 'Jack' when I meant 'John.' **Huge spoilers for season two episode 'The Gamekeeper.' My deepest apologies for the ridiculous delay. Major thanks to the reviewers who gave me some great suggestions. I went from having no idea what to do this chapter to having a really hard time picking which I liked best. I know that in my alternate universe I've messed up the timeline, and yes Jack is a lot younger here than he should be. But hey, that's my prerogative. Seriously, though, there are too many people I need to thank to do it by name, so anyone who read this, here's a sincere thank you from me to you.

Disclaimer: If I owned stargate, this would be a movie not an internet fanfic. Do the math.

* * *

Jack returned from another long weekend training session exhausted and frustrated. He resisted the urge to slam the front door, barely, and collapsed on his bed.

Sam, as she always did, had waited in the dark of her room to hear him return. She listened to the telltale shuffles of his combat boots, his groan as he let fatigue wash over him, the protestant creak of his bed.

She sighed and closed her eyes.

The next morning, Jack woke up late. The weekend had been a brutal one. Things had been getting better, Sam had become, to all appearances, more accepting of his mission. But now bad news. New intelligence had forced them to change their plans. Leaving in August was no longer an option. He would leave in the early morning of July seventh. In three days.

"Oh, Sam. I'm sorry."

~*~

"I thought we had more time," Sam said quietly, barely containing her despair.

"So did I. But this couldn't be stopped. I have to go."

Sam felt panic rising in her chest. Her heart pounded faster and faster, and her breath came in quick gasps. She felt like running away, pretending that this wasn't happening. Instead, she half-ran to the back porch. There, she clung to the railing, her knuckles white with tension. She looked over the little lake, the trees, the wonderful world she shared with Jack. This was her time to be strong, to lock away the pain that ate at her.

"Sam?"

She couldn't look at him, not yet. He placed his hand on the small of her back, but kept his distance. If her pain was half as potent as his was, he could well understand her struggle.

Finally, her tears dried, her heart slowed, she turned to him, placing her hands on his neck.

"You remember your promise. You give them hell, and then you come back to me."

For both of them, it was a time to be strong. He didn't want to risk lying to her, making a promise he couldn't guarantee to keep. So he wrapped his arms around her, kissed the top of her head, and said, "I love you. Forever."

~*~

The day of his departure, Jack woke and packed at 0500. Sam drove him to the base, holding his hand the whole way. She did not leave the car to watch him walk away. She hugged him one last time, and drove back to his cabin in silence. She did not look back.

She spent the next week sleeping in Jack's bed, reading his favorite books, sitting on the deck where they fished. She resisted the nagging voice in her head. She delayed sleep as long as possible, because every time she closed her eyes, she saw him, far away, alone, wounded, dying.

She met several times with Hammond, who was smart enough not to try and console her. Instead they spoke of her future at the academy, her plans, and what kind of scientist she might be. The future was a sensitive subject to her. In her mind, her future was bound to Jack's, and as such it was unknown. But she knew the science her heart was called to. Astrophysics. It was always going to be the stars.

~*~

The mission was simple - infiltrate a compound in East Germany and retrieve the Russian agent, Boris Ekomov. Colonel John Gray led a four man team, including Lieutenants Jack O'Neill, Charles Kawalsky, and Thomas Benjamin. They moved in practiced synchronization, their leader's hands providing their instructions. They worked carefully, trusting their teammates with their lives, but they were confident that this would be an easy snatch and grab. A satellite had confirmed that the compound was not heavily armed and lacked perimeter surveillance and guard.

They crept up the gravel drive, using outbuildings and trees for cover. Gray took his place behind one of the old stone posts of the gate, scanning the area for anything that moved. Standing across him, Jack prepared for a breach. All his training, the long nights, the drills, memorizing the mission until every step was perfected, made it almost too easy now. Too quiet.

Gray motioned the men forward, taking the first step himself. They stood to the sides of the drive, half concealed from the house by the perfect lines of trees. Not even a quarter of the way there, a shout disturbed the silence. Somewhere, a bird took off in flight, its startled cry echoing around the forest, almost masking the muted gunshot. In front of him, Colonel Gray went down with a grunt. In one easy motion, Jack raised his gun, aimed it at the black spot on the roof, the head of the sniper, and pulled the trigger. The bullet found its mark, a clean through and through between the Russian's eyes, avenging Gray.

Shots rang forth, a barrage, a cacophony. Covered by Kawalsky and Benjamin, Jack dragged John away from the danger, behind a stout stone wall. Still alive, John struggled to breathe, coughing up the blood that blocked his airway.

Jack used his body weight to apply pressure to the wound. But he was a soldier. He knew this was a battle he would not win. "Come on, John!"

His voice broken and weak already, John said, "So much for satellite recon. Hey Jack? Take care of Barbara for me, man."

As he watched his friend's life fade, Jack did the only thing he could for his fallen commander. He stood pulled the trigger, and yelled, "Fall back!"

Five minutes later, the three surviving teammates waited. Their mission was incomplete, but they lacked the manpower, the gun power to attempt another infiltration. When the barrage ended, when the last shot echoed in he air, a death knell, they made their way again to the gate.

Standing halfway down the drive was their mark, Ekomov. Behind him was a man in black. As they watched, the man stepped to the side slightly, revealing an arm raised, a gun pointed at Ekomov's head. When he was sure the Americans could see, the man pulled the trigger, and Ekomov dropped to the ground.

The man, the murderer did not wait. Arrogantly, he turned his back and walked toward the house. Before Jack could make the order, enemy gunman appeared again, this time closer and at their right flank. They fired back as they retreated, and Jack risked picking up his friend, slinging him across his shoulders, and running with the endurance only months of intense training provides. When they reached the truck, they jumped in, Kawalsky behind the wheel, and sped away.

They had no reason to stay. Their mission was forfeit. But a knot of fury and grief twisted Jack's stomach. They had killed a few of the enemies in their retreat, but not nearly enough to make up for John's loss. Still holding the dead man's hand, Jack pondered John's final words. Barbara and John had been married only two years. High school sweethearts, they had separated when John joined the Academy. A lifetime later, they had reconnected by chance, and their love was as strong that day as it was the last time they kissed. As strong then as it was the first time they kissed.

His thoughts drifted naturally to Sam, her smiling face, her bright eyes, a cascade of sunshine around her shoulders. He imagined Barbara's face when she received the news, but he saw Sam's. Sam's face crumpled in pain.


	16. Barbara's Pain, Sam's Joy

AN: I figure I owe it to the readers to update soon, so here's the first draft of the next chapter. It's short, but it's something.

* * *

Sam drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair. Hammond's hand rested over hers for a moment, but he said nothing. The waiting was terrifying, but not knowing the truth was excruciating. It was the nature of Jack's mission that had Sam in such distress. Black Ops. Secrets, lies. It had destroyed her family. The family ties between the Carter children and their father had been forever altered by the darkness surrounding his work. By the fear he brought them, fear each time he went away, to some unknown place, with an unknown purpose. Never knowing if he was coming home. Always fearing that he would simply disappear, no answers, not knowing if he lived or if his bones turned to dust half a world away.

It had been hard enough then, a child fearing for her father. But this, this was worse. She had dealt with the worst of the fear and pain at Jack's absence, but when Hammond called one morning, telling her that something had happened and the team was returning weeks before their estimated time of return, fear had taken residence in her, coiling around her middle, a constant source of nausea, tightening her muscles.

A scientist by nature, she recognized her body preparing itself for some trauma. She understood then how a person might die of heartbreak. Her own heart quailed, her mind screaming in silence. If it was going to be like this each time Jack went away, she might go mad with worry.

They had been forced to wait in the infirmary. All they knew was that one man was down. He could have broken a rib, had a limb blown off, been bitten by some jungle insect. He could be dead. Sam forced her mind to stop, quelling the pictures her imagination created.

She tried to hope for the best, clasping her hands and praying, to God, to fate, to the universe, to science, to anyone who would listen. She prayed that if a man was down, it was not Jack. Her selfish heart could have faced anything but that. She didn't think of the other men, didn't think of the tragedy it would be if they had died, didn't think of the other woman in the waiting room.

She was a pretty brunette of middle years, this other woman waiting for news of her own man. She and Sam had spoken briefly, when they first arrived, before fear became too much for them. Her husband's name was John Gray, and he was the commanding officer of Jack's team. Her name was Barbara.

Sam looked at Barbara and saw what must have been a mirror of her own face. Her features were calm enough to the casual observer, but her eyes were tight, and they barely concealed the panic within.

Sam's fingers began to drum again when the doors swung open. The first man through was someone she had never met, someone Jack's age. He was in full dress blues. So they hadn't just returned. Sam wondered how long they'd been back, and what had delayed them.

Behind this man, chocolate brown eyes downcast, was Jack. Another man followed. They all wore dress blues, and after the three had stepped into the room, the door shut. Barbara stood, her hands over her mouth. It was Jack who took her hands in his. Jack who gave her the news that her husband had perished in the line of duty.

There were no details. This woman would have no answers. She had only to accept Sam's nightmare, that her husband had died, and she would never know where, or how, or why. She thanked Jack for bringing John back to be buried. It was little comfort, but her man would be laid to rest with love and dignity.

Sam stood as Barbara was led from the room by Jack's two remaining teammates. Hammond followed them out, knowing that this reunion deserved privacy.

"Jack," Sam breathed. All the worry, the fear, the tension, eased. Her body felt light, buoyant even. She touched his face, instantly grounded. He was back. She searched for injuries, anything, the smallest bruise or cut. He seemed well in body, but his eyes were haunted.

"My Sam," he said.

For a moment, all his demons fled him. Everything went away, simply ceased to exist in that moment. His past, his fears, his nightmares, his grief, all gone. There was only this, only him and Sam, together. He rested his forehead to hers and pulled her closer.

She wound her arms around his neck, pressing herself closer, rejoicing in his proximity.

Words seemed inadequate, but she said, "I'm so glad you're back."

The understatement was laughable. With a wry smile, Jack pulled back enough to see her face. He brushed his thumb across her cheek, catching an errant tear. He kissed her softly, a part of him convinced he was asleep, that he had been asleep for a year. Surely nothing he had ever done was worthy of this happiness.

His doubts were squelched when Sam returned his kiss urgently.


	17. Honoring Gray

AN: It can't be a surprise that there was another delay, but I do have a good reason. I finally found inspiration. I know where I'm going with this poem...yeah, I didn't before...so I've been working on an outline beginning about six years after this chapter takes place, all the way up to the time of the '94 movie. Don't know what's going to happen in those six years yet...but I'm working on it, I promise! Thank you for the reviews. So many times I would have given up on this fic had it not been for someone asking what happens next.

Oh, and sorry for the depressing mood of this chapter. I almost cried writing it. (I'm not ashamed of that)

* * *

At his cabin that night, his first night back in the real world, Jack could do hardly more than sit and stare at the woman beside him, a woman who, inexplicably and inexorably loved him. It should have been a dream, this happiness, but the heat of her hands in his, the gentle cadence of her breath, the flickering light of the fire reflected in her cobalt eyes, these things were real. Real and wonderful.

He had no words. His fear had abated the moment he held Sam in his arms again, and he didn't want to remember it. Didn't want to acknowledge it by speaking of his absence.

Sam was the first to break the lovely silence between them. Reality could not be denied. The rest of the world, though it felt light-years away, must be dealt with.

"Do you want me to go with you tomorrow? I understand if you'd rather go alone."

Jack's eyes tightened. His memory flashed to the last moments of his friend's life. "I need you there."

It was simple, but it was enough. Sam understood. Sadness fell upon her, sadness for the death of John Gray, for his widow, for the friends and comrades he left behind. Sadness for her Jack, and the pain he hid so well. Sadness for herself, that wish as she might, she could not take away his pain.

They slept there, on the floor in front of the fire, Sam's head on his chest, her long hair cloaking them. The soft beat of her heart, almost in time with his own, and her trusting embrace were enough to drag Jack's mind from mourning and turn his thoughts instead to a future of more nights just like that one.

~*~

The funeral was a somber affair. Colonel John Gray was buried a fallen hero and given Full Honors. His friends and family stood by as the Air Force Base Honor Guard performed the funeral. His three teammates, still and always loyal, his Commanding Officer, his brother, and his father acted as pallbearers.

Sam's eyes swam with tears as she stood behind Barbara Gray, who stood stoic and silent between her mother and her mother-in-law. In the end, the seven members of the firing party bid a final farewell to the fallen soldier, and Barbara took her flag.

At the first opportunity, as soon as was decent, Sam snuck away from the crowd, past the twenty guardsmen, and walked past grave after grave of soldiers, young and old, father, husband. She stopped at the first bench, a marble slab in the shade of a tree, and wept.

In her mind, the funeral she had just attended could have been Jack's. The names on all the headstones around her, stretching for what seemed like miles, could all read Jack O'Neill. So easily, her love could have been the one mortally wounded. She could have been in Barbara's place, acting brave and strong at the moment, but ready to collapse in despair as soon as she was alone.

She felt someone sit next to her, but she couldn't move her hands from where they hid her face.

"Samantha."

The voice stopped her tears. She peeked through her fingers, unsure that she had heard right. There he was. No warning, no explanation, after being gone so long. Her father.

"Sir," she said, her voice deep with sorrow.

Awkwardly, Colonel Carter patted his daughter's shoulder. His return had been unexpected, and his friend Hammond had told him where to find his little girl. Sobbing after a funeral for a man she didn't know was not where he had imagined he would find her.

He handed her his handkerchief, and she carefully wiped her tears away, blew her nose, and stuck the cloth in her little purse. She had a fairly large collection of her father's handkerchiefs in her room already. So many tears she had cried, and that was the only way he knew to help.

"Was Colonel Gray a friend of yours?" he asked, uncertain.

"No," she answered, straightening, trying to regain some form of composure. "He was Jack's CO."

His eyes narrowed. Every time he had asked Hammond about the relationship between Sam and Jack, George's answers had been evasive and ambiguous.

"I think you'll find they have become very close," was the last thing George said on the subject.

Jacob Carter was not complete fool, nor was he quite so oblivious on the subject of his only daughter that he had not noticed when his daughter fell in love. He didn't like it.

"Why are you crying so much?" he demanded.

She looked away. "Because it could have been him."

Sam was spared from hearing Jacob's rude answer when Jack arrived, concern drawing his eyebrows together. Torn between a desire to comfort Sam, to be comforted by her, and obligation requiring he restrict his behavior in front of her father, his superior, he stood in awkward silence for a moment.

He saluted quickly, and held out his hand. "Colonel. Good to see you back, and safely."

"Yes," was the senior Carter's curt reply. "Well, I'll leave you now. I'll see you at home, Samantha."

With that he walked away, his back rigidly straight, his steps clipped and precise. As soon as he was out of sight, Sam fell into Jack's arms, wrapping her own around his neck.

"Oh Jack, I'm so sorry."

Jack knew that the mission would always haunt him, that even then he dwelled on what he could have done to save his friend, but Sam was medicine enough to heal that hurt.

He took her hand and led her to the waiting cars that would take them to the Gray residence, where, hopefully, the mournful air would depart, and they would grant John's wish to be remembered with happiness and laughter.

* * *

AN2: I tried my best to get the funeral as accurate as possible, but as I found only a general list of what was involved in a Full Honors burial, I had to wing it. If I made a mistake, or left something important out, please let me know.


End file.
